Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, but I’m going to write it anyway. Getting this off my chest and having someone listen will make me feel better. The problem is my husband. The way he treats our children makes me sick. I call it child abuse. He says I am crazy. Will you please tell me what you call it? He never says one word to our teenagers (three of them 15, 16 and 18) unless it’s to tell them how dumb, useless and ugly they are. It seems they can’t do anything right. His constant belittling has hit one of our children so hard she has become withdrawn and afraid to open 3 II II I ANN LANIIEIIS her mouth. I’m worried sick about her. Her father has made her feel like a fat slob-completely worthless. He tells her every day that she is ugly, stupid and clumsy. She be-lieves him. The girl cries a lot and keeps her feelings to herself. She re-fuses to talk to me about her problems although I have tried to open the lines of communication. Our children have no respect or affection whatsoever for their father. In fact, I’m sure they hate him. If one of the kids makes a mis-take, he never lets up until the child is in tears. I call this emotional child abuse. He says there is no such thing. He claims abuse means physical beating. Is there such a thing as emotional child abuse? I leave it to you. -Kalamazoo Reader Dear Kal: You bet there is such a thing as emotional abuse. Another term is mental cruelty. Your husband sounds like a bully. He was probably belittled and emotionally battered by his father. The only way to break this vicious cycle is through counseling. Your family doctor or clergyman should speak to him (privately) and explain what he is doing to his children. Another problem is your relationship with him. I suspect you are at odds with one another a good bit of the time and the kids have been the battleground. Family counseling would be ideal... with everyone involved, speaking his piece and laying his feelings on the line. I hope you can get someone to intervene on behalf of the children and make your husband see what he is doing to their lives-and yours. Everyone would profit. Dear Ann: This letter has been written in my head a hundred times. Now it goes on paper and into the mailbox. It is called: “Games Fa-thers Play.” Pinning: This is a game where the father will want to hold his son down. Son will call time after a few minutes, but father will persist. After a few more minutes, son will scream to be freed, or cry or beg, but father just smiles and berates the boy for being a sissy. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Boxing: This is a game of self-defense. A few punches, a push, a shove, a loud command to fight back “like a man.” Son whimpers- The ISest he An I \\\\ 11 e iis feels inadequate, knows the odds are against him. So he cries. Father teases him for being a sissy. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Football: This is a game of skill and kill. Son must have killer in-stinct at 6 years of age. He must outshine all others and give 110 per-cent. Daddy gets very angry if son doesn’t make the team or turn out to be a star. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Now, Daddy, after all your guidance and nurturing, son grows to manhood. He is the image of you-his instructor and role model. He is critical, abusive and insecure. The score is Daddy 0, Son 0. This is the story of my son and his father. I say to you dads every-where that one of the most precious games you can play with your son is “Gentleness,” but in a manly way. A kiss, a hug, an approving glance and some kind words. He is sure to become a man among men if you play this game. Score-Daddy 10, Son 10. Sign me -The Scorekeeper