Dear Ann Landers,
've been going with a lovely young widow for about eighteen months. Sara lives in another city, but we see each other every weekend. We are in love and plan to be married. Sara told me early in our friendship that her husband killed himself. Somehow my mother and sisters learned about the suicide, and they are trying to talk me out of marrying her. They say when a married man kills himself it means his wife failed him. Sara is sensitive and insecure; her life has been a trying and lonely one. I believe it is unfair to say she failed her husband, and I resent the suggestion that she is a poor marriage risk. I'd like your views.-Color Me Blue

Dear Blue,
First, about your family: Color them vicious. Suicide is an irrational act. A husband or a wife who has lived through the nightmare should be spared the burden of guilt. If you love the woman and want to marry her, disregard your family's cruel insinuations. And you might tell them to M.Y.O.B. Dear Ann: Our twenty-year-old daughter is about to be married. She has a well-paying job but has always spent more money than she made. I know this girl has a staggering num-ber of unpaid bills for clothes, records, costume jewelry, lug-gage-anything she could buy on credit. I have asked her four times if her bills are paid, but she lies better than most people tell the truth. Yes, Ann, I've failed, but it's too late to do anything about that now. What I need to know is should I tell her fiance that his bride-to-be is in debt up to her neck? Rush the advice.-Too Late Smart Dear Too Late: M.Y.O.B., Mother, but urge your daughter to tell him. If she springs unpaid bills on a brand-new husband it could get things off to a wobbly start.