Dear Ann Landers,
o I have the right to ask my older sister if she is gay? There are many telltale signs that lead me to believe she is. "Lisa" was a member of a sorority for four years and lived in the sorority house with some very masculine-looking girls. Very few of the girls in that sorority went out with guys. I can't believe they never got asked. My guess is they enjoyed each other's company more. My sister never dates. At present, she is awfully close with a woman friend. They spend nights at one another's homes and are on the phone constantly. One doesn't make a move without the other. Both my brothers and I think something is strange. Should I ask "Lisa" the question straight-out? -A Doubting Sister in a N.Y. Suburb

Dear Doubting,
How would it change your life if she is or isn't? If Lisa were a lesbian and wanted to go public, she would. The tone of your letter suggests you would talk to her in an ac-cusatory or judgmental way. This could create tremendous resentment and permanent alienation-especially if she is straight. My advice is M.Y.O.B. I received a letter in September 1989from a homosexual who signed himself "Waiting for Justice in Chicago." He wrote, "At the present time, no state will allow two people of the same sex to obtain a marriage license. Isn 'f it about time homosexuals were given the same options that heterosexual couples enjoy? This is discrimination of the most blatant kind in a country that claims to believe in freedom,, equality and liberty. " I told "Waiting for Justice''' I doubted that we would see the legalization of same-sex marriages in our lifetime and then invited my readers to drop me a line and let me know if they were for homosexual marriages or against them. I received more than 55,000 responses. The tally ran about 2-to-l against same-sex m,arriages. Keep reading, and you will learn how Ameri-cans and Canadians feel about this controversial issue. I must say that I am deeply troubled by the viciousness and lack of compassion of so many corre-spondents. From Grosse Pointe, Mich.: You want an answer? I'll give you one. The way you stick up for queers is disgusting. But I am not surprised, seeing as how you are an ultra left-winger, a Jew and a woman. And while I'm at it, I would like to say that San Francisco, which is 50 per-cent gay, is the armpit of America. Saginaw, Mich.: I cast my vote for legal recognition of same-sex cou-ples. I am gay, my wife is straight, and we have been married 25 years. The love and understanding of this wonderful woman have kept me away from temptation. I know deep down, however, that if I could have been legally married to my first love, I would have had a glorious life in harmony with my true nature. Philadelphia: I am the father of two sons. One is gay. I want equal rights for both boys. Put me in the "for" column. Long Beach, Calif.: We are against legalizing homosexual relation-ships. It is wrong to encourage these sick people who are killing them-selves and infecting others because of their filthy lifestyle. Santa Rosa, Calif.: I work at a hospice and never cease to be moved by the unselfish love and devotion these males have for one another. Such beautiful relationships ought to have the dignity of legal recognition. Chicago: Plistory is repeating itself. The gays are where the blacks were 35 years ago. Who would have thought back then that we would have black mayors in dozens of our country's largest cities? Louisville, Ky.: I'll go to Leviticus 20:13: "And when a man lies down with a male the same as one lies with a woman, both of them have done a detestable thing. They should be put to death without fail." Detroit: Have those dumb clucks in San Francisco who passed the domestic partners legislation figured out what will happen when the "partnership" goes sour? Will these partnerships end up in "divorce court"? That's all we need-to let those fruitcakes who want to cut loose jam our courts. Eau Claire, Wis.: I vote no. The notion that members of the same sex should have the rights and privileges of normal couples is outra-geous. I am not a religious fundamentalist, but I believe that homosex-uality is morally wrong. Those faggots should go back in the closet where they belong. Baton Rouge: It is time Americans stopped being afraid of (and feel-ing threatened by) people who are different. This goes for members of minority groups, those who are physically handicapped and individu-als whose sexual preference is not that of the norm. As far as I'm con-cerned, same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. Chicago: The family unit is the core of civilization. This means par-ents and children. When homosexuals can be biologically altered so that they can produce a child, I will vote yes. Until then, I'm voting no. Charleston, W.Va.: If society had not placed such a stigma on ho-mosexuality, I would have been able to face myself as I truly am instead of living a lie, marrying a wonderful woman and messing up her life. Lubbock, Tex.: Homosexuality is against the law of nature, God and Texas. Remember that commercial, "It is not nice to fool Mother Nature"? Well, that's what the perverts are trying to do, and it doesn't work. Raleigh, N.C.: Marriage? I wouldn't go that far, but since I have been in a monogamous same-sex relationship for 10 years, I certainly would like to see a tax break. I am in the 30 percent bracket because I am con-sidered single. My significant other and I are just as much "married" as many of our friends, yet we get none of the tax advantages.