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Dear Ann Landers,
y husband and I have been married for a lit-tle over a year. We have a baby and are extremely happy. "Mel" has a hobby he started when he was a little boy. I knew about it before I married him, so I am not complaining. He likes to dress up in women's clothes. I told him it was OK with me as long as he didn't do it in my presence. Since the baby came I've been home a lot, and this has created a problem. Mel hasn't been able to dress up, and it has made him irrita-ble and short-tempered. I asked him why he needs to do this, and he says he doesn't know. Last night, I took the baby to my mother's so Mel could dress up. When I came home, he was watching TV wearing a blond wig, a beautiful sequined gown, high heels and a feather boa. He looked better than a lot of women I know. He also does a fantastic job of applying makeup. I thank the Lord that our baby is too young to re-member his father in that get-up. Why would a man want to do this? He is definitely not a homosex-ual and is the most manly-looking guy I know. -Mel's Wife, U.S.A.

Dear M.W.U.S.A.,
I checked with one of the country's foremost au-thorities on cross-dressing. He asked that his name not be used be-cause several years ago when I named him he was swamped with mail. Dr. X said there are many types of transvestites. Most are married and have children. He made it clear that while some are homosexuals, many are straight. When questioned about their first cross-dressing experience, almost all say it was a woman who put them in girl's clothes, usually to humil-iate them. Also, cross-dressers almost invariably view their fathers as cold, distant, powerful and uncommunicative. The yearning for accep-tance becomes so intense that it creates an erotic sense of frustration. Dressing up provides an emotional release. Some transvestites say they started to dress like girls because their sisters were "Daddy's favorite" and they felt that if they were girls they would get special treatment, too. Accept the fact that this behavior is deep-seated and almost always irreversible. Since he told you about it before marriage, try not to be judgmental.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers