Dear Ann Landers,
ast May my husband asked me if he could wear one of my housedresses while painting the kitchen. He said it would be more comfortable. I said OK. He did look awfully cute, and I told him so. Ever since that time he has been wearing my dresses and wigs and makeup when we are alone. He has asked me to call him Linda when we "play girl friends," as he calls it. I can truthfully say I don't mind. The only thing that bothers me is that he is prettier than I am. If we went out in public together, he would get more whistles. Yesterday I read an article on sex deviation. It said men who enjoy dressing up in women's clothes are transvestites. I do not consider my hus-band abnormal. He is very manly in every way. He just happens to enjoy playing this little game. Is there any-thing wrong with it? I'd like your opinion. HAPPY WOMAN WHO LOVES HER HUSBAND

DEAR WOMAN,
My opinion is of no consequence. The only thing that mat-ters is what you think, and apparently you think it is just fine. If you and your husband enjoy "playing girl friends," it's nobody's business. Just make sure the doors are locked and the shades down. And say hello to Linda. A MISSOURI WIFE HAS NO TIME FOR THE KINKY LIFE DEAR ANN: In the past you have been willing to admit it when you have made a mistake. I hope you will do so again. I refer to your advice to the woman whose husband wanted her to spice up their night life on occasion by wearing black nylons and a garter belt to bed. Your counsel was absolutely rotten. Obviously the wife felt uncom-fortable about it or she wouldn't have written to ask if it was "all right." Why didn't you tell her to ask her hus-band how he would feel if she asked him to wear a leopard-skin jock strap and beat on his chest before jumping into bed? It is obscene to impose one's crazy fantasies on other people. I believe it's high time men and women put an end to the glorification of kinky standards set by pornographic magazines and dirty movies and got in touch with their own feelings. A WIFE FROM MISSOURI DEAR WIFE: The question put to me was, "Is it all right?" My reply was, "Yes. If you enjoy it." What goes on between a man and his wife, behind closed doors, is no-body's business but theirs. They decide what is "right." I don't agree that my advice was rotten, but if you think so, I respect your right to ignore it. Teenage Sex The shock that many adults register when confronted with teenage sex is un-derstandable but unrealistic, understandable because sex is a loaded dynamite issue for most people, unrealistic because a few seconds of listening to almost any rock song, a few minutes of viewing most commercial television, a side-long glance at the covers displayed at the comer newsstand (to say nothing of a peek inside one of these magazines) is sufficient to convince all but the mindless that our economy is powered by sex and teenagers are also con-sumers. What else sells cologne in TV Guide? What else sells cars, deodorant, toothpaste, wine? Teenagers are not immune to Madison Avenue's efforts to promote our way of life by using sex as the underlying theme. You can be sure Madison Avenue didn't select this theme without complete confidence that it would be effective. One of the major reasons for the increase of sexual activity among the young is that children are maturing physically at an earlier age, because of better nutrition and advances in health care. A thirteen-year-old girl today is as physically developed as a fifteen-and-a-half-year-old was thirty years ago. This means our society, which views adulthood as somewhat near twenty, requires millions of adolescents to endure as much as seven years of physical maturity with no acceptable sexual outlets. Teenagers respond to their sexual drives just like adults. Moreover, they are encouraged to do so by what they read, see and hear. More likely than not, their parents avoided discussing sex with them when they were still young enough to accept it as a neutral issue-anywhere from age seven to ten. Their parents' parents did not discuss sex with them and they were reared with the notion that the children will ask "when they are ready." Somehow, they never get "ready" because the climate is not conducive to asking questions about things that create feelings of discomfort. By the time a child reaches puberty, sex, because of body changes, is so important to the child that it is no longer a neutral topic. It is loaded with conflicting messages. Every embarrassed response of a parent, every lewd rock song, every advance of the opposite sex creates confusion, ambivalence and feelings of guilt. It is not surprising that many teenagers, filled with misinformation about sex (which is worse than no information), make their own decisions without the correct facts that might help them make respon-sible decisions. They feel it is not necessary to follow the dictates of parents or church because not only do they sense the turmoil this topic creates within those camps, but also their messages cannot beat out the competition-TV, movies, magazines, music ads, peer pressure, etc. Myths play an important role in teenage sex. They are accepted as facts because most teenagers are not getting sex education-at home or at school. Myths are what teens pass on to each other as proof of their superior knowl-edge and experience. Myths are what many boys are not afraid to use to con-vince girls to have sex. Myths are lines like these: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up. You can't get pregnant the first time. You can't get pregnant if you don't have an orgasm. You can't get pregnant if the boy pulls out before he ejaculates. You can't get pregnant if you don't do it very often. You can't get pregnant if you take the f>ill right before you have inter-course. The facts are, you can get pregnant in every one of these situations-and many girls do. American teens are not alone. Early sexual activity, followed by early childbearing is increasing worldwide. Bulgaria, East Germany, New Zealand all rank ahead of the United States in teenage pregnancies. Some girls do manage to get to Planned Parenthood before it's too late for good factual information and counseling, but many get caught and find 99 percent of their life's script written for them. Sociologist F. Ivan Nye, in a booklet published by Washington State Uni-versity, points out some grim consequences of too early parenthood: For mothers. Among mothers thirteen to fifteen years of age, only 11 per-cent go on to graduate from high school. Many feel rejected by other stu-dents. One third live below the poverty line, and lacking education and job experience, they are unlikely to break out of that wretched category. Of those under eighteen, only 40 percent marry the fathers-and 65 per-cent of these marriages end in divorce within the first five years. Suicide at-tempts by school-age mothers are seven times the national percentage for teenage girls without children. For fathers. If the boy marries the pregnant girl, he often has to interrupt his schooling and job training. If there is an abortion or adoption, he may feel guilt. Legally he is obliged to support his child until the child is of legal age, in some states, eighteen, others, twenty-one-unless the child is adopted. (Boys as young as fourteen have been successfully sued to establish legal ob-ligation for eventual support of their children.) For babies. Babies bom to mothers seventeen or younger face greater health hazards. The mortality rates for babies whose mothers are under fifteen are more than twice as high as for those who were bom to mothers in their twenties. Because young teenage mothers have not yet reached full biological matu-rity, and because they tend to have poorer diets and inferior medical care (if any), their babies are more likely to be bom prematurely. Birth defects such as breathing difficulties, neurological impairment, epilepsy and mental retar-dation are more frequent. Child abuse is also believed to be more common among very young fathers and mothers, who tend to react impatiently to a baby's demands. The Alan Guttmacher Institute of Planned Parenthood has studied the numbers. Babies bom to adolescents are two to three times as likely to die dur-ing the first year of life as is normal. 72 percent of young mothers whose babies arrived between their fifteenth and eighteenth birthdays are on welfare. 60 percent of the girls seventeen years and younger who become preg-nant before marriage are separated or divorced within six years of marriage. Eleven million U.S. teenage girls are sexually active. Only 30 percent of them use contraception. Of the 11 million teenagers, 1 million get pregnant and of these, 590,000 have babies, 140,000 have miscarriages and 270,000 have abortions. It is not true that all of these teenagers have frequent or promiscuous sex. Some teenage girls, according to a recent study, have had sex with only one boy and said, "We were in love." Many more who reach the Planned Parent-hood teen clinics get the kind of information and support they need to start saying no. As pure survival course information, the girls need their own lines to give back to the guys. Parents must wake up to the fact that there is more teenage sex because there is more sex in everything around us and very little sex education to put it in its proper perspective. Some parents and clergy believe the availability of contraceptives is to blame for so much sexual activity among the young. This is another myth. Birth control in the form of condoms (rubbers) has been available for a good many years-for those who wanted them. Many surveys have shown that teenagers do not want to use contraceptives because it "spoils the nat-uralness," or "I didn't want to be prepared. I'd look cheap," or "It's too much trouble." Most teens are reluctant to seek out clinics where they can get information for fear of being found out. ("My mother would kill me if she knew I was into sex!") Furthermore, a high proportion of teen girls who do find their way to birth control clinics come in with a pregnancy scare or a late period. They are terrified. That's when the counselors hear the recitation of those awful lines: "He told me I couldn't get pregnant if . . ." If the schools taught sex education the way they teach driver education, more teenagers would emerge from their adolescent years unscarred by early childbearing. Many teenagers think it is cool to be free and easy when the truth is they are more often than not awkward, uncomfortable and anxious. Those who begin sexual activity early have a difficult time later when they try to tell themselves that sex is an expression of love. After years of fooling around for sheer pleasure it is not simple to shift one's emotional gears. So what are parents of teenagers to do? First they must start at an early age to keep the lines of communication open. They must never be shocked or judgmental-no matter what the child says, reports or confesses. The best place for sex education is at home, but unfortunately, too few parents are equipped with the proper information and too many parents are uncom-fortable talking to their children about sex. So the next best place is in school. In spite of the fact that teenagers account for more than 20 percent of all births and produce more than one half of the country's illegitimate children, and have one third (350,000) of all abortions each year, sex education in the schools is not permitted in twenty-nine states at this very moment. We must accept the fact that once a teenager becomes sexually active he (or she) will not stop because someone says it "isn't right." We must educate these children in the areas of venereal diseases and unwanted pregnancy and tell them how to prevent both. The notion that they will "go do it" if we give them the information is absurd. Information is good. It is ignorance that is bad-and dangerous-and expensive, in terms of tax dollars, emotional and physical health and peace of mind. If your daughter wants information on birth control-even though you still think of her as a child, send her to your family doctor or to Planned Parent-hood. (Look in the phone book for the address.) If you have no chapter in your city, write for information. The address of the national headquarters is 810 Seventh Avenue, New York, New York. Education is the answer. credit: Deborah M. Roach, Vice President for Public Education, Planned Par-enthood Association, Chicago, Illinois. Dear Readers: I hate to admit it but I'm giving in. I wasn't too crazy about the Sex Test for Teenagers (composed by a teenager in 1966) but I printed it because I believed it had some redeem-ing features. The response was incredible. Teens (and their parents) had plenty to say, both pro and con. Four years later, four Memphis teenagers "updated" the Sex Test and I printed it. Again, the ceiling fell in. Since 1970, I have received over 5,000 "updated" Sex Tests. Each con-tributor insists I owe it to my young readers to print a new one. They say anyone who digs cats between 13 and 19 has got to know times have changed and if I really want to help teenagers, I'd better tell it like it is NOW. So-here's the 1978 Teenage Test, submitted by five teenagers (three girls and two boys, ages 15 to 17). They attend a public high school in Dayton, Ohio. The scoring guide is at the end. Instructions for scoring: For each yes answer, give yourself the number indicated. Ready? Here it is: Have you: Ever been out with a member of the opposite sex? 2 Ever engaged in light making-out? Kissing but no intimate touching? 2 Ever gotten or given a hickey? 2 Ever said I love you? 3 Ever said I love you to more than one person in the same week? 4 Ever removed part of your clothing while making out in a car? 4 Ever masturbated? 2 Ever gone all the way with a member of the opposite sex? 5 Ever done so without using a contra-ceptive? 6 Ever tried sex with a member of your own sex? 8 Ever tried cigarets? 1 Do you smoke regularly? 3 Do you smoke pot regularly? 5 Ever mix pot with pills? 6 Ever tripped on LSD? 7 Ever done Angel Dust, cocaine, ot her-oin? 8 Ever had an abortion or been respon-sible for one? 8 Ever wake up and not been able to remember what you did? 7 Ever get a girl pregnant? 8 Ever considered getting pregnant so you could hook a guy? 8 Ever had group sex? 8 SCORING GUIDE: or under Candidate for Sainthood to 16 Normal and Decent 17 to 30 Heading for Serious Trouble 30 to 40 In Serious Trouble and Plenty Messed Up 41 or over Either You Are a Damned Fool or Completely Freaked Out Note From Ann Landers: Maybe I'm a wiggy antique, but in my opinion, anyone who scores more than 12 is not "Normal and Decent." HERE ARE THE 'LINES' GIRLS HEAR THESE DAYS DEAR FRIENDS: Recently I asked my female teen-age readers what "lines" the boys were using these days to break down their resistance. The re-sponse was staggering. Would you be-lieve over 18,000 letters? To my sur-prise (although I should have learned long ago never to be surprised at what turns up on my desk) I received a handful of letters from boys telling me what "lines" the girls had used on THEM. I received a few critical letters ad-monishing me for putting out a "how-to" list for beginners. "Young boys are plenty aggressive these days," wrote the mother of three daughters in Wheeling, W. Va. "It's foolish to sup-ply them with alternate 'lines' should theirs fail." I hastened to inform "Wheeling mother" that the purpose of printing the "lines" was to wise up the naive and vulnerable who, too often, are snowed by cool cats on the make. Hopefully, if the girls see it in print, they will recognize it for what it is-just a line. And a fairly standard one at that. I promised to share my findings with you. Here they are: Sharon, Pa.: "Come on. What are you afraid of? Don't be a baby. It's just part of growing up." Louisville, Ky.: "If you really loved me you would. That's the way people express their true feelings. It's been going on since the world began." Honolulu: "It's very painful for a guy to be in this condition and not get relief. You got me all heated up; now if you're any kind of a woman you'll take care of me." Marshalltown, Iowa: "It will be good for your complexion. You should have seen my face before I did it. Honest, it's better than any medicine." Carbondale, 111.: "You're the most exciting chick I've ever met in my whole life. I have never wanted any-body the way I want you." Fort Lauderdale: "Life is so uncer-tain. Who knows whether you'll be alive tomorrow? It would be awful if you died in an accident or something without experiencing the greatest thrill of all." Mexico City: "You're awfully up-tight. Sex is a great tension-breaker. It will make you feel relaxed." Gatineau, Quebec: "I want to marry you some day. Now we have to find out if we are sexually compatible." Rochester, N.Y.: "I've heard rumors that you're 'lezzie.' If you aren't, prove it." Nassau, The Bahamas: "I promise we won't go all the way unless you want to. We'll stop whenever you say." Harrisburg, Pa.: "You have nothing to worry about. I'm sterile." Toronto, Canada: "I know you want it as much as I do but you're afraid of your reputation. I swear I will never tell anybody. It will be our secret." Shrewsbury, N.J.: "It isn't sex I'm after. I'm really in love with you. If you get pregnant I'll marry you right away." Durham, N.C.: "You have the body of a woman. Mother Nature meant for you to have sex. You're ready for it." And now that most unique approach in the handful of letters from boys who had been propositioned by girls: From Greenwich, Conn.: "I have a terrible time with cramps every month. The doctor said I should have sexual intercourse. Of all the guys I know, you're the one I want to help me with this medical problem." (P.S. The guy said no.) AFTER THE 'MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP'