Dear Ann Landers,
pparently you were not aware of the changes in the Social Security laws or you would have given better advice to that seventy-year-old widow who moved in 152 with a gentleman of the same age. The woman said marriage was out because she would then lose her deceased husband's Social Security. A widow can now remarry and collect 50 percent of her deceased husband's Social Security. Please tell her-and thousands of others.-Field Representative F.N.T.

Dear Rep,
Thank you for the information. And now to all of you golden-age swingers who are living together without benefit of clergy, check with your local Social Security office and get married already. 153 ELEVEN KEEPING YOUR COOL Seventy-eight years before Christ was bom, Cicero said, "A perverse temper and a fretful disposition will make any state of life whatsoever unhappy." Much of the unhappiness I hear about stems from a fretful disposition or a perverse temper. Since it is humanly impossi-ble to be cheerful, charming, and agreeable from dawn to dusk, one must expect misunderstandings, irritability, and problems. The best way to resolve problems is by talking them out. Boiling in silence can build an ulcer. Furthermore, nothing is so infuriating as the mate who "refuses to discuss it"-and sits there like a clam with a broken hinge. A good marriage can tolerate differences in opinion. When two people agree on everything, their marriage is either a dictatorship or a bore. Honest verbalization is essential to a good relationship. But an important distinction exists between honest verbalization and verbal assault and battery. Frank talk can mean a battle, and this is not always bad. Battle can be useful, honorable, and even noble. All married couples should leam the art of battle as they should leam the 154 art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest- never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership. Time and place are of utmost importance. No problem was ever solved before breakfast, or the moment a husband gets home from work. And it goes without saying that a battle should be a private affair. Every social circle has at least one couple notorious for slugging it out in public. The husband or wife who attempts to gain support by launching his attack in the presence of family and friends succeeds only in generating sympathy for his spouse. Profanity, shouting, and destructive words are weapons of a loser. Physical violence is, of course, unspeakable. Hitting and slapping is a child's way of relieving anger and frustration. A grownup who behaves in this immature manner needs profes-sional help. Anger is a normal emotion. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Indeed, we should be ashamed if we are so indifferent to what is happening around us that we do not at times become out-raged. But the mature individual expresses his anger in so-cially acceptable ways. He keeps his cool. No one has the right to destroy property or to infringe on the rights of others, no matter how noble his cause. There is much in our society that needs change, and it is the angry citizen who expresses his anger in a responsible, constructive manner who will make this a better world for all people.