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Dear Ann Landers,
om and Dad fight like cats and dogs. I wish I had a dollar for every time we kids had to separate them and beg them to stop yelling so we could get some sleep. Dad's favorite gag is to take embarrassing pictures of Mom and pass them around to friends when they go to a party. Once he caught a picture of her while she was asleep, with her mouth open. Another time he took a picture of her washing the kitchen floor in an old bathing suit and tennis shoes. Last week Mom put a rubber snake in the medicine chest, and when Dad opened up the chest, the snake popped out and he darned near had a heart attack. There are five kids in our family, and we are raising each other. In case you haven't guessed, they both drink a lot. Can you help them straighten around?-The Five J.'s

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Dear Readers,
, I used to clear my throat to get the attention of my in-laws. I didn’t want to call them Mom and Dad, or Mother and Father, and I wouldn’t have dared to call them by their first names. When I did use “Mom” and “Dad,” I was very uncomfortable, even though I liked them both a. great deal. But they were not my parents, and I kept searching (without success) for a name that would identify them properly and show love as well. Now, we have a son-in-law who calls my husband and me by our first names and another son-in-law who calls us “Mr. and Mrs.” We are not happy with either. The first is too chummy, and the second is too formal. Every in-law we have talked to feels as we do except a few people who don’t mind being called by their first names. Do you have a solu-tion to this age-old dilemma? -Nameless and Placeless

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers