Dear Ann Landers, ere are some excellent commandments for in-laws. And please, Ann, feel free to add to this list. As one who has been through the mill, I can tell you there are many young married couples who need all the help they can get. Bylaws for In-laws Don't feel that you are entitled to know everything about your married children's lives (who they entertain, what they do every night, how much money they make, what their friends are up to, etc.). Don't complain that visits with your children and grandchildren are too infrequent. If your son takes you to lunch, don't tell him it should be every month and then call him to make sure that it is. Be content with whatever time he can give you. Don't try to force your married children to spend time with their married siblings. We are old enough to arrange our time together. (My mother-in-law is constantly suggesting that we should enter-tain my brother and his wife every week. We love them, but nei-ther of us has the time, money or desire to do so.) Don't correct your grandchildren constantly, nor should you ex-pect perfection. Enjoy them. Rearing them is not your job. Don't ask to be included when your married children tell you of some special plans. If they want to include you, they will. Don't criticize your child in front of his or her spouse and don't criticize the spouse. Neither one appreciates this. Don't phone every day unless you are asked to do so. Don't drop in unexpectedly-ever. Do develop your own friendships and your own hobbies. Your chil-dren should not be made to feel responsible for entertaining you. Do compliment your child's spouse and say thank you when thanks are due instead of behaving as if a thoughtful gesture took little time and no effort. Please print this. You could save a lot of marriages. -Love 'Em, but They're Driving Me Crazy in Kansas
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Dear Readers, , Palmyra, N.Y. Dogs Don’t Have Souls, Do They? I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur. You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping. Once in a while, you’d let out a little yelp just to let me know this was your territory. Making a mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight be-came a passion, and when I scolded you, you just put your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes, as if to say, “I’m sorry, but I’ll do it again as soon as you’re not watching.” As you got older, you protected me by looking out the window and barking at everyone who walked by. When I had a tough day at work, you would be waiting for me with your tail wagging just to say, “Welcome home. I missed you.” You never had a bad day, and I could always count on you to be there for me. When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap, looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than to have me pat your head so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg. As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then, one day, old age finally took its toll, and you couldn’t stand on those wobbly legs any- I I) 4 I ANN LANDERS more. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me for one last favor. With tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time, you were lying next to me. For some strange reason, you were able to stand up in the animal hos-pital; perhaps it was your sense of pride. As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say, “Thank you for taking care of me.” I thought, “No, thank you for taking care of me.”
