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Dear Ann Landers,
I thought you might like this for your "stupid crooks" collection. It appeared in the Deerfield Beach, Fla., Times. -- Susie Q in Florida

Dear Susie Q,
Thanks for sending it on. I laughed out loud. Here it is: The vote is still out on whether a man found stuck in an air-conditioning vent of a pizza parlor was trying to find a place to sleep, as he told police, or whether he was trying to burglarize the parlor, as police said. At 9 p.m. on Labor Day, the manager of a local pizzeria walked into the shop and found more than dough and pizza sauce waiting for him. While checking inventory, the manager noticed that the vent cover to the air-conditioning duct had fallen to the floor of the kitchen. Upon closer inspection, he noticed there were feet hanging from the hood. The manager called 911. Deputies quickly located the man, who had begun screaming for help. Police said the 29-year-old man was trying to break into the pizza parlor through a rooftop air vent. During his "Santa-Claus-like" entrance, the man got stuck in the middle of the shaft, where he remained for at least 22 hours because the business was closed for the Labor Day holiday. Fire Rescue said the man was stuck in the L-shaped vent and could not be pulled out from the bottom. The firefighters and paramedics poured grease from the roof to lubricate the vent. A rope was then tied around the man's hands, and he was pulled from above. The man was taken to the hospital and treated for dehydration. He has been charged with burglary.



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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers