Dear Margo, I need advice. My husband is a Family Physician. In 2014 he decided he wanted to open his own practice. I was hesitant, but still worked my butt off to make it happen, acting as the business manager. Well, it didn't go well and in May 2018 he had to get a second job at another clinic to pay off bills from the failed venture. We almost went bankrupt. Times got very hard and still are, but we at least kept the house. He now has an opportunity to take a job in Australia that pays more than here, offers furnished housing, and transportation. (Paid vacation. Too. He has never had a paid vacation in his career, as US docs just don't get paid if they don't work.) ?
I want to go. We have three girls who would be able to experience a new country for two years, not to mention the many short plane rides to experience places such as Fiji, New Zealand, Bali, and Thailand.
?He says absolutely not. He still has a core patient base of about 200 patients from his private practice that he sees as a concierge-style doc, and says he cannot leave them. He won't even discuss this with me without blowing up. I'm pissed off, thinking he is putting those patients ahead of me, his children, his family. I am quite bitter thinking about what we went through for his failed business venture, and how he won't even consider this opportunity. We have been married 25 years.??Advice, please?
Mrs. X
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
RGK's Comment
She and the kids can go by themselves and let him miss the opportunities. Why wait for him?? Just do it!
Reader Comment
Good advice. A trial period to see if it seems like a good, possibly permanent life style seems the way to go.
Reader Comment
Margo's answer to this dilemma shined a light on lot of unanswered questions. How does a Dr.s practice "fail?" I have never heard of such a thing. There are a lot of other strange facts given in this account. I think there is more to this story than is being revealed. I also think moving to another country would be a huge mistake unless both spouses are in complete agreement.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , let me say I am divorced and the father of three wonderful children. I love them very much, and I try to spend as much time with them as possible. At present, I am with them about three days a week. Recently, my ex-wife asked that my present wife, “Babette,” watch the children every day after school while she works. This means until 6:30 in the evening. It seemed like a great idea to me since the children get along very well with Babette, and our home is a pleasant and fa-miliar place to them. The problem is that Babette believes that she should be paid the same as any other child-care provider because she is performing a ser-vice for which my former wife has paid others in the past. My former wife feels that Babette is obligated to watch the children for free because they are, after all, my children and she is now my wife. Babette says it’s not so much the money but the idea that my ex-wife is just trying to take advantage of her. I love my children and am in the middle of a battle between these two women who are not crazy about each other to begin with. Do you have a solution?
