Section: family, teenagers, behavior
Dear Ann Landers,
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A Note from Margo:
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
My mother was functionally indifferent to me and my children. Fortunately, my in-laws were involved and caring. You cannot turn your mother into a caring person. I kept in-touch with my mother for my own conscience sake until she passed away. With your immediate family focus on people who care about them.
Momma Reyes's Comment
Dear Sad Son, donâ€™t lose hope. Living so far apart makes for a challenge. Continue to FaceTime, call or send videos of moments you want to share with her. Continue to do your part to include her in your life. By doing this, you will have done the right thing. Show interest in what she is doing and you may reap the reward of her taking an interest in your family. Be patient.
Has "sad son" ever approached his mother to discuss why she is so cold? If she doesn't want to even discuss the matter, at least let her know how she is distancing herself from the family and she may very well find herself alone. Leave it at that. Don't force her to be a warm, loving (never happen here) mother and grandmother. There's something very wrong with this nasty person and it probably isn't worth the aggravation trying to find out just what tick is under her craw. End of story.
Dear Sad Son, do you have brothers and sisters with children of their own? Does your mother treat them the same way? My father was one of five children, four brothers and one sister. His mother was always cold and distant to her sons' children but worshipped the ground her daughter's children walked on. When I was 15 I got enough nerve to ask her why. She said that she couldn't be sure if her sons' children were really HER grandchildren, but she was sure that her daughter's children were. I chose never to be involved with her again after that. Perhaps your mother doesn't like your wife and is taking out her dislike on all of you. When my father's mother finally died, none of her sons' children bothered to go to the wake or the funeral. When my aunt and her children took us to task about not going to our "wonderful" grandmother's funeral, we all replied that we didn't know whom they were referring to, because out mutual grandmother was NOT wonderful.
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