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Dear Ann Landers,
wo years ago, I became ill with high fever, chills and severe genital pain. The diagnosis was genital herpes. At the time, my husband and I had been married 15 years. He was the only sex partner I'd ever had in my entire life. He showed no symptoms. Life in our household was hell. Thanks to the help of several doctors, we learned a lot about genital herpes. Since my husband had other sex partners before our marriage, he could have contracted it then. Some people have such a mild case that they don't even know they have herpes. Nevertheless, they become carriers. Years later, they may have another mild (unnoticed) outbreak and pass on the virus. Condoms do not protect against herpes because the virus is in the entire genital area. If a sex partner with a cold sore performs oral sex, he or she can infect a partner. 4.1 am a nurse, so I could have picked it up while tending a patient. I am meticulous about hand washing, but that is no guarantee. We still don't know how I got genital herpes. I have had two flare- ups since the initial outbreak. My husband has never had a symptom. I have never had a sex partner other than my husband. Please tell "Trouble in Toledo" that I believe her husband com-pletely. I know he could have contracted herpes without having an ex-tramarital affair because that is what happened to me. -New Orleans, La.

Dear N.O.,
Thanks for the backup. I have received many letters from readers who wanted to vouch for "Toledo's" husband because they, too, had had the same experience. My readers, bless them, are loyal not only to me but also to each other.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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