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Dear Ann Landers,
have been married for four years and have undergone the third degree at least one thousand times. My husband refuses to believe he is the only man who has ever made love to me. I raise my right hand, he was my first sweet-heart. We started to go together when I was fifteen. I was nineteen when we were married. There has never been an-other man in my life and there never will be, unless my hus-band makes me so miserable with his accusations that I am forced to divorce him to keep my sanity. I'm thankful he doesn't accuse me in the presence of others. He waits until we are alone and the lights are out. It's always the same-"If you will just tell me, I promise I won't get mad. I'll never throw it up to you." Ann, it's almost as if he wishes there was some-body else. Why does he behave this way?-Not Guilty

Dear Not Guilty,
Some people obtain sexual stimulation from fantasies. In fact, they cannot function without the help of these one-act plays. The thoughts they entertain (or the thoughts that entertain them) never cross their minds any other time. Your husband conjures up mental images of you with other men because it excites him. He knows very well it's all in his head, so don't let his questions bother you. Dear Ann: During fifteen years of marriage I never glanced sideways-that is, until a new executive joined my husband's firm. He was handsome, sophisticated, and I fell like a ton of bricks. That look in his eye let me know he was reading me, and my answer was Yes. The way to "get acquainted," I strategized, was to invite him and his wife for dinner. She and I would become friends, and you know the rest. One look at his Mrs. chilled my ardor. They arrived late and she was plastered. Her conversation was incredibly banal and boring. He gave her long looks-which she ignored. Their relation-ship was obviously a horror. How could he have chosen her? The gentleman has never looked good to me since. So, per-haps it's not such a bad idea after all, girls. Get to know the man's wife.-White Plains Dear White Plains: Here's another letter, same subject, different twist. Dear Ann: After eighteen years of marriage, my wife con-fessed she was having an affair with-of all people--her best friend's husband. No, she didn't want a divorce. And neither did he. There were six children involved. Would I stand by until the fire burned itself out? I told her, "Yes, I'll try." The next day I telephoned the other man's wife and invited her to my office for a chat. She had known-instinct, she called it- and was pretending not to see. I admired her character and her courage. And I noticed for the first time how terribly attractive she was. We've been comforting each other ever since, and I hope my wife never gets tired of the other guy.- Not Grieving



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers