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Dear Ann Landers,
After having refused two other dates, I've been canceled with half an hour's no-tice. This costs me money. Maid service expected. Some people ask if you'd mind doing a few dishes, and when you go into the kitchen every dish and pot and pan in the house is in the sink. Some people come from a party cockeyed drunk and we have to let them drive us home. Thanks, Ann, for your help. BABY-SITTERS ANONYMOUS

DEAR BABY-SITTER,
I have dealt with various aspects of your problems, but now that you have listed several complaints, I'll deal with them all at once, and I hope you girls out there will clip this column and use it as a guide. Most of your problems result from your failure to establish guidelines and stick to them. If a girl takes her job seriously she should have, in advance, an understanding with her boss on all the issues raised in your letter. If the woman does not live up to her word, the girl should not sit for her again. Wages. Establish your fee and stick to it. If you do not get paid the night you sit, remind the woman the next time she calls that you didn't get paid for last time and that you'll be expect-ing double money, so please have both fees ready. If the couple comes in "three hours late" on a school night more than twice, don't sit for them again. They are not reliable people. Make it plain when you talk price that the fee includes her children only and extra children mean extra money. Have an understanding in ad-vance that unless you get three days' notice for a weekend cancellation, the woman will have to pay you half of a normal night's sitting fee. If you don't want to do dishes, say so. Tell her you have homework to do-which of course you have. Never get into a car with anyone who is "cockeyed drunk." Phone your parents or take a taxi and inform the people that the taxi is on them. Baldness



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers