AnnLanders.com - Dear Ann Landers: I am a male, 49 years old.
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Section: grief-and-loss, relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a male, 49 years old. I lost my wife in an auto accident two years ago, and it has taken me until now to restart my life. A few weeks ago, I put a personal ad online, and one of the responses was from a 45-year-old woman. She seemed to be exactly what I wanted -- pretty, intelligent, independent and with a good sense of humor. The problem is, I think our relationship may be moving too fast. When I placed my ad online, I had a game plan for finding someone to fill the empty spot in my life. I figured we would get to know each other through e-mail for two months. Then, we would start phoning each other for another month or so. Finally, we would meet for coffee, and if all went well, we would begin to date. We are way ahead of the game plan. I'm afraid we might be setting ourselves up for a letdown if we move too quickly. I really like this woman a lot and don't want to mess things up, because she could be the one I've been waiting for. I have been trying to put the brakes on, but it's not easy. Please tell me what to do. -- Rich on the Computer

Dear Rich,
It appears that you are doing just fine. Follow your instincts, but keep those brakes on. Introduce the woman to family and friends, and get their opinions. I'm hoping those bluebirds will sing for you again.

What do you think? (or ask a question?)

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers