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Dear Ann Landers,
'm a single woman who works as a waitress. I get off at midnight and have to walk three long blocks from the bus to my apartment. Three of the girls I work with have been raped in the last six months. I am petrified that it might happen to me. I carry a can of Mace in my pocket and an icepick, too. Frankly, I doubt that I would have the nerve to use the icepick. As for the Mace, I don't think I would have the presence of mind to use that, either. Some articles on rape say if a woman is attacked she is better off to submit-that her chances of being beat up or killed are greatly reduced if she does as she is told and doesn't put up a fight. Other articles say just the opposite. I am terribly confused and hope you will settle this matter once and for all. I am going to follow your advice, no matter what it is. -N.Y. Worry

Dear N.Y.,
I'm with Dr. Mary Conroy, who teaches at California State University in Los Angeles. She advises, "Kick him in the scrotum. Gouge his eyes out. Slash him in the Adam's apple. Scream! Shriek!" Conroy says the more noise you make, the better your chances for escaping the would-be attacker. I consulted with several authorities in law enforcement and almost all agreed that women who were submissive or begged to be let go ac-complished nothing. Would-be rapists are mean and single-minded. They do not respond to tears or pleas for mercy. (Also, many are doped-up and off their rockers.) So, N.Y., and any other woman who is faced with the decision: Put up a fight and yell your head off. It's your best bet. And now an additional word, in case you lose: I implore you to go at once to the nearest telephone and call the police. They will come and take you to a hospital where you will be cared for immediately. Give as detailed a description of the rapist as possible. And, please, please, ac-cept the offer for counseling. Rape is a hideous experience that can leave scars on the psyche that never heal unless the victim ventilates her feelings of violation and purges herself of the rage. The sootier after the incident, the better.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers