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Dear Ann Landers,
hat wisdom, consolation or advice can you give parents in their 50s who have worked hard to achieve the Ameri-can dream, loved their kids and tried to give them the best world ever? We are also the unhappiest. Many of our children are on drugs, unemployed dropouts, mi-grants, drifters, angry with the world, hostile toward us and out of joint with society. How much and for how long should parents pay, in terms of self-recrimination, worry, disappointment and financial sup-port? How can we enjoy the years that are left to us now that we have more money and fewer business pressures and are still in fairly good health? It's heartbreaking to see our kids maladjusted, disoriented and un-able to cope. We can't help but feel we are to blame. After all, they are our sons and daughters. We raised them. Where is the cutoff line? Do you have any answers? -Meant Well Parents

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, I will take your word for it. My husband and I are having a sharp disagreement over something and you are going to settle it. Last night we were invited to a dinner party. The hostess is a good person. She would give anyone the shirt off her back. But she manages to turn every conversation into what you call “an organ recital.” We are all sick to death of listening to her physical complaints. I call her “Mrs. Kvetch.” (Not to her face, of course.) “Mrs. Kvetch” had an operation for gallstones six weeks ago. The entire cocktail hour was devoted to the details of her operation-down to the last stitch. When she brought out the bottle of her gallstones and passed it around, I was appalled. Plus viewing the stones we had to listen to her doc-tor’s appraisal. . . “The largest he had ever seen.” Needless to say, I had no appetite for dinner. (My husband had two help-ings of everything.) What do you think about a hostess who would monopo-lize the entire cocktail hour with talk of her operation and display her gall-stones at a dinner party? still not hungry

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers