Dear Ann Landers,
y husband and I have been married for 14 months. I am realistic enough to know that no marriage can be perfect. Our problem is sex. There were signs of trouble just before we married. He seemed to have lost interest in being intimate. I told myself it was too much stress. He was taking on a new job that involved a move to another state. After a while, I realized that I had been making too many excuses for him. We had a frank talk, with me asking him, point-blank, "Don't you find me attractive anymore?" He replied, "It's not you, it's me. I just don't have the urge." His response didn't help much. When we do make love, it's over before I know it. I am never satisfied. He is always apologetic and says, "I'm sorry. I'll try to do better next time." The "next time" is four or five weeks later, and it's the same story. I'm feeling resentful. Here I am in my mid-20s and starving sexually. I hate to think of spending my whole life this way. I can't risk a letter coming to the house, so, please, Ann, print your reply. I would be ever so grateful. -Unfulfilled in the East

Dear Unfulfilled,
I spoke with Dr. William Simpson about your problem. He is the director of the Center for Sexual Health at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kan. Dr. Simpson said, "The key sen- WAKE UP AND SMELL THE IIIIFFEE! tence in your letter is 'When we make love, it's over before I know it.' Your husband presents himself as having a lack of sexual desire, but his primary problem is premature ejaculation. Every time this hap-pens, he feels like a failure. To escape humiliation, he performs as seldom as possible. This is one of the more easily treated sexual dys-functions." Your husband needs to see a certified sex therapist or sex counselor.