Dear Ann Landers,
30 through dinner is a huge responsibility. You said asking to get paid might be Babette's way of sticking it to the ex-wife. I believe it's the other way around. It's the ex-wife's way of sticking it to Babette. It looks to me like the ex is looking for free child care. And you fell for it. Dumb-dee dumb dumb. -Been There in Auburn, Ky. Dear Been There: You would not believe the avalanche of mail I received on this subject. Keep reading:

Dear Ann,
You blew it. Would you ask your mother, father, sister or brother to watch your three kids on a regular basis, 15 hours a week, without offering to pay them? And if Babette does resent this, as she rightfully should, how will she treat these kids? Don't print my name, please. I prefer to be -Anonymous in Colorado The most spirited responses came from the listeners of a Los Angeles-based radio call-in show hosted by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Dr. Laura sent me dozens of responses. Here's a sampling: WAKE UP A N U SMELL THE COFFEE! 3 3 From Karen in Calif.: Ann Landers is wrong. Time is money. You get nothing for nothing these days. Babette should be paid for watching those kids. XYZ: Ann is right. The second wife should not be paid. If Babette has no interest in children, she should not have married a man who has three. Gina D.: I thought slavery was abolished in 1863, or did the Eman-cipation Proclamation not include wives? Babette should be paid in cold, hard cash. Erica: You don't pay parents for watching their own children. This is the family Babette became a part of when she married. She is a step-mother, not a baby-sitter. Blood is thicker than water. Eileen P.: My vote is against Ann and for Babette. Why doesn't the father change his work hours so he can do some baby-sitting? After all, they are his kids, not Babette's. Mary D.: I agree with Ann. How are these kids going to feel when they learn that Babette is being paid to take care of them? Has anyone thought of that? Hershey, Pa.: Maybe the husband and the ex-wife would consider deducting the cost of child care from the support payments. That way, everybody gets a break. Kimberly in San Diego: All three are idiots-Babette, her husband and the ex-wife. No one seems to want the kids. They are more con-cerned with money. Too bad. I feel sorry for those children. Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.: It would be nice for the kids, and good for the marriage, if Babette took care of the kids, but she is not obligated to do so. To ask to be paid is downright tacky. The ideal solu-tion would be as follows: "Pay" Babette by putting money into the kids' college funds. It would be the same as outright payment but less crass, plus, the kids wouldn't have to know that Babette was paid to be with them. So, dear readers, you've just read an ounce of responses off a glacier. Make up your own minds. I'm sticking to my original response. Ba-bette should not be paid. 2 Columns from Ihr Bedroom The Other Woman Judith Viorst The other woman Never smells of Ajax or Spaghetti-O. And was bored with Bob Dylan A year before we had heard of him. And is a good sport about things like flat tires and no hot water. Because it's easier to be a good sport When you're not married. The other woman Never has tired blood. And can name the best hotels in Acapulco As readily as we can name detergents. And wears a chiffon peignoir instead of a corduroy bathrobe. Because it's easier to try harder When you're not married. The other woman Never has to look at Secret Squirrel. And spends her money on fun furs While we are spending ours on obstetricians. And can make a husband feel that he is wanted. Because it's easier to want a husband When you're not married. WAKE UP A HI D SMELL THE CIIFFEE! 3 5 After that poem appeared, 1 received this in the mail: I am the Other Woman. I also smell of Ajax, ammonia and Kitty Litter. I wasn't bored with Bobby Dylan. I hadn't heard of him, either. I am a good sport about flat tires. I call AAA. I'm expected to be a good sport. Because I'm "still looking." The best hotels in Acapulco are listed in my guidebook. I wear a terrycloth bathrobe. I've never owned a peignoir. I'm not trying harder. Why should I? I'm not married. I spend money on real fur-a couple of purring cats. I have also spent money on obstetricians-two children I raised alone. Why do I make your husband feel wanted? I can't answer that. I can only ask- Were things so perfect before I came along? When it comes to cheating, I have readers on every side of the issue. Look at this: