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Dear Ann Landers,
y wife suggested I write to you because our problem is one we don't want to discuss with anyone in this city. Last week our sixteen-year-old son came home from boarding school. He said he had something impor-tant to tell me. From the look on his face, I knew he was distressed. My first thought was, "He's gotten some girl in trouble." Well, Ann, I wish it were true. It would have been simple compared to the real problem. The boy confessed he is a homosexual. His mother and I are crushed. I blame myself for failing as a father. I feel guilty for not spending more time with him. My wife says this way of life was probably inflicted on him by the other boys at school. Is it possible? Our son has always been a fine student, an outstanding athlete, popular with both boys and girls. He is also very handsome, almost beautiful, which adds to the problem. Should we send him to a co-ed high school next fall? He says he doesn't want to see a doctor because he's not sick. I assure you that his mother and I are. Please advise.-Heartbroken Dad

Dear Dad,
There's a chance that he might not be a homo-sexual. The amount of ignorance on this subject is appalling. A co-ed high school might be a good idea. A change of scenery and companions could be helpful. Be aware, however, that homosexuality cannot be inflicted on a normal male, so don't blame the school if it turns out that the boy is a homo-sexual. There is some disagreement among the experts regard-ing what causes homosexuality. While the vast majority of authorities agree it is the result of a poor child-parent relation-ship (often within the first four years of the youngster's life), there are other theories which should not be totally dis-counted. The important thing now is to get the boy to a psychiatrist and hope for the best. But don't expect magic. Experts report "cures" in less than 5 percent of the cases. Therapy can be extremely helpful, even if no "cure" occurs. It can help the boy accept himself as he is and adjust to his 200 problem. Many homosexuals are creative and productive people and have made notable contributions to society.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers