Dear Ann Landers, at is killing our marriage. When D. and I walked down the aisle, he was only a few pounds overweight. I pledged to quit smoking if he would promise to slim down. I have not touched a cigarette since our wedding day. D. has gained 50 pounds. He is a great guy. We enjoy each other, our children and our lives. But those mounds of fat are coming between us. He doesn't understand why our sex life isn't what it used to be. I try, but I'm turned off by those rolls of fat around his middle. Even his kisses leave me cold because his jowls are flabby. I decided a long time ago not to nag since I don't want to hurt him. I fix proper meals and keep no fattening snacks around the house, but I can't padlock his mouth when he walks out the door. Please help me, Ann.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , I realized that I had been making too many excuses for him. We had a frank talk, with me asking him, point-blank, “Don’t you find me attractive anymore?” He replied, “It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t have the urge.” His response didn’t help much. When we do make love, it’s over before I know it. I am never satisfied. He is always apologetic and says, “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better next time.” The “next time” is four or five weeks later, and it’s the same story. I’m feeling resentful. Here I am in my mid-20s and starving sexually. I hate to think of spending my whole life this way. I can’t risk a letter coming to the house, so, please, Ann, print your reply. I would be ever so grateful. -Unfulfilled in the East
