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Section: relationships, children, mental-health, marriage, family

Dear Ann Landers,
I just learned that my ex-husband is the father of a baby boy with his new wife. I am devastated by this news. We have been divorced for 10 years, but I never stopped loving him. Eight months after I married "Andy," he had a vasectomy without telling me. We spent another year trying to have a baby. Actually, I was the only one who was trying. Andy was stringing me along. He knew he could not father a child, but he made me believe the fault was mine. I discovered the truth when I went to see a fertility specialist. The doctor said there was no physical reason I could not become pregnant and suggested that my husband be checked. It was then that Andy told me about the vasectomy. The following year, he divorced me on the grounds that he wasn't cut out for marriage. Later that year, he got married to someone else and apparently had his vasectomy reversed. Now I am faced with a terrible sense of loss. How in the world could this have happened? Andy's new family should have been OURS. I tried to adopt a child, but as a single woman, this is very difficult unless you have a great deal of money. I know I can't turn back the clock, but learning about Andy's baby has brought back all the hurt. How can I rid myself of this pain? -- Need Help in Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma,
Andy is a liar and a cheat. Had you stayed married to him, he would have given you endless grief. Count your blessings. You missed a speeding bullet. Call your local child-welfare agency, and inquire about being a foster parent. There are a great many children who need homes but are not adoptable for a variety of reasons. Good luck to you, dear.

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Tracy Mattingly from united state's Comment

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Reader Comment

"Tacoma" thinks she's still in love with this jerk? She's lucky she got out when she did. Get over it, sweetheart. The guy is not worth even thinking about any longer. I didn't know a vasectomy was reversible. Fostering a child is a crapshoot. I hope she thinks long and hard about doing that.

sandra lopez's Comment

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Joyce Bang's Comment

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Amy Livingston's Comment

Life doesn’t get easier, instead we strive hard to make it easy for us and today I’m so happy and glad that my husband is back to himself again after he had turned drinking into a habit. I don’t want to lose my husband for any reason. I was hurt with how our lives just changed and I needed help. I went online to search for help on how I can save my marriage and I came across lots of genuine testimonies about Lord Zakuza that specializes in all kinds of spell making and I gave it a try to save my own marriage. Lord Zakuza accepted to help me and he prepared a spell for me and within 48 hours, my husband reduced his intake of alcohol and within 7 days, he stopped drinking. My marriage was fully restored back with Joy, love and romance and I want to say thank you to Lord Zakuza for helping me. Anyone that needs help can contact him via Call/WhatsApp on this cell phone number 1 (740) 573-9383 or visit his website: lordzakuzaspells.com or send him an email via: [email protected]