Dear Ann Landers,
have seen many TV talk shows where over-weight people have been guests. On one show, a woman said, "It's my business how much I weigh." These are the people I want to address. Our oldest son had a weight problem most of his life. We tried everything to encourage him to lose weight. Repeatedly he said, "It's my life. I'll do what I want with it." Well, Ann, he did exactly that and died at age 33, weighing 560 pounds. He went into the hospital with what everyone thought was a severe case of the flu. A few days later he developed symptoms of hepatitis, but according to the tests he did not have this illness. The doctors couldn't take X rays because the table wouldn't support anyone who weighed more than 300 pounds. They couldn't do a body scan because he wouldn't fit in the machine. They couldn't do a spinal tap because the nurses were unable to roll him over. Eight people were required to give him a sponge bath-two to hold the bed down so it wouldn't tip over. He was in the hospital less than a month when he died of congestive heart failure and liver and kidney problems. No one should ever experience the helplessness of watching a loved one die because it was "his life to do with as he pleased." I know this pain after watching my son die from overeating. How tragic that all the medical knowledge available couldn't save him. -P.L.W., Colton, Calif.

Dear Colton,
This was more than a medical problem-it was a psy-chological problem. It wasn't so much what your son was eating, but what was eating him. I'm sure you did your best, dear. Some people are beyond help and nothing can save them. My condolences. For more information, contact: National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders P.O. Box 7 Highland Park, IL 60035 (847) 831-3438 Weight Watchers (800) 228-2315 Overeaters Anonymous World Service Office P.O. Box 44020 Rio Rancho, NM 87174-4020 (505) 891-2664 1 The Nightmare nf Physical Abuse and Rape Abuse comes in many forms-and my readers have told me about all of them. Fve heard from battered wives, abused children, mistreated parents, and in-jured husbands. There is now a domestic violence hotline that's open 24 hours: (800) 799-SAFE; TDD: (800) 789-3224. I have taken a strong stand against all types of spousal abuse ever since my column began. Take a look at these letters, some of which are thirty years old but sound as if they could have been written yesterday.