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Dear Ann Landers,
've read your column since I was 7. Now, I have a daughter that age. Reading about other people's problems has made me realize how small mine are. You guided me through a difficult childhood and adolescence. I could pick up the paper every day and learn how others solved prob-lems similar to mine. And I knew I wasn't alone. I also learned from you that most problems aren't so serious that you can't have a sense of humor about them. Many of your columns are so good they should be read over and over. I have even gone to the library to find the columns you wrote be-fore I was born. I didn't want to miss anything. You've been a strong, positive influence in my life, and I'd like to say thanks by sending you this essay. I hope you'll print it. Lessons Learned from a Lifetime of Reading Ann Landers You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can diminish your self-esteem unless you give them permission to do so. People won't stay mad at you long if you can say, "I blew it, and I'll try to make amends." When something is troubling you, tell people you trust instead of trying to cover it up. You'll be surprised to learn that they've been through something similar. Don't pass up an opportunity to tell people you care about them. You may never get another chance. Reserve judgment until you know all the facts. Even then, keep your mouth shut if no useful purpose is served by adding your two cents' worth. Be grateful for your good health and the health of those you love. Be aware that without good health, wealth and success mean little. If you enjoy your work and your life, you are rich. If you aren't happy with either, how can money help? If you're having a rotten day, don't take it out on others. Simply say, "This is a rotten day. Tomorrow is sure to be better." This attitude can save a lot of relationships. Don't be afraid to try something you think you can't do. There's no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Look for the best overall package of ambition, kindness, consideration, self-esteem and intelligence. Otherwise, you'll spend your life alone. Spend time with your children. You can respect and learn from people even if you don't like them. You can learn something from everyone-because every person in the world knows something that you don't. -Nancy Line Jacobs, Omaha

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Dear Readers,
, but of course, it was a waste of time. The counselor later told me it was obvious that I wanted counseling to save the marriage, but my ex agreed to it only to appease me and intended on getting a divorce once the charade was over. We had been married 14 years and had two children, ages 7 and 5. It was not easy for me. My ex remarried six months after the divorce was final. I married again 10 years later. My 23-year-old daughter recently asked her father why we were divorced. He replied, 'Because your mother was having an affair.' I am furious with him for telling such a lie. Fortunately, my daughter did not believe him, but it's possible he has repeated that same lie to everyone he knows. I get angry every time I think about it, but don't know if I should confront him. Please, Ann, tell me what to do.

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"Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset."
-Ann Landers