Dear Ann Landers,
Did you know the average person spends one- third of his life in bed? Isn't it worth 30 minutes a week to make your husband happy an additional one-third of his life? If he wants you to iron the bed sheets, iron 'em, toots. Be thankful your marital troubles can be ironed out so easily. Not all people are so lucky. Dear Ann: Something happened which dates back to your column on ironing bed sheets. Now I have a problem. My husband wrote me a note this morning. It said, "Unless you are sick, dying or dead, I expect my shorts to be ironed and in my bureau drawer when I come home. Love, Lou." I've never ironed Lou's shorts in the 12 years we've been married, and he never complained-until now. I decided I wasn't going to spoil him at this late date, so I did not iron his shorts. I cleaned out his closet instead. Tonight when he came home, he kissed me affectionately and headed right for the bedroom to check on the shorts. They were in his bureau drawer, folded neatly but not ironed! He said nothing, but I could see he was disappointed. You've put me in a bad spot, Ann. Please give me your frank opinion. Should a wife who has never ironed her husband's shorts start after 12 years? -Kathleen Dear Kathleen: Well-here we go again! There are all kinds of husbands in this world. Some couldn't care less whether their shorts are ironed or not. Others complain if their handkerchiefs aren't lined up just so. In my opinion, it is not unreasonable for a man to want his shorts ironed. If your husband has decided after 12 years he'd like ironed shorts-then iron 'em. You'll burn up less energy ironing seven pairs of shorts a week than arguing about it. I promise, Kathleen, if you begin to iron Lou's shorts, he'll stand on his head to please you. And this from 1966. (I wonder how much a homemaker would be wonh today.)

Dear Ajmi Landers,
All my married life, I've felt like a nobody be-cause I was "only a housewife." My husband made me feel that I should be grateful to him for putting food in my mouth and clothes on my back. Today, I read something that gave me a lift. If you print it, I'll bet you'll give thousands of housewives a new lease on life. The home economics department of our state college published a leaflet in chart form. It shows what a housewife is worth per week in dollars and cents on today's labor market. Here it is: Cooking, table-setting, serving, at $2 an hour . . . $50. Dishwashing, at $1.25 an hour . . . $17.50. Child care, at 50 cents an hour (ridiculous since this is what most sit-ters get for just sitting). . . $17.50. Routine housework, at $1.25 an hour . . . $22.50. Laundry, at $1.25 an hour . . . $6.25. Ironing, at $1.25 an hour .. . $6.25. The chart suggests adding 25 cents for miscellaneous work. So the grand total is $150 a week. On a yearly basis, a housewife is worth $7,800. Believe it or not, this leaflet has given me dignity. I no longer feel like a parasite. Tonight when Mr. Greatheart comes home, I'm going to greet him like a woman who earns almost $8,000 a year because that's what I am. -Ashamed No Longer Dear Ashamed No Longer: Housewives of America, unite! Clip this column for your husband. And as for you, Mr. Greatheart, take that-and that-and that.