Dear Ann Landers,
You bet there is such a thing as emotional abuse. Another term is mental cruelty. Your husband sounds like a bully. He was probably belittled and emotionally battered by his father. The only way to break this vicious cycle is through counseling. Your family doctor or clergyman should speak to him (privately) and explain what he is doing to his children. Another problem is your relationship with him. I suspect you are at odds with one another a good bit of the time and the kids have been the battleground. Family counseling would be ideal. .. with everyone involved, speaking his piece and laying his feelings on the line. I hope you can get someone to intervene on behalf of the children and make your husband see what he is doing to their lives-and yours. Everyone would profit. Dear Ann: This letter has been written in my head a hundred times. Now it goes on paper and into the mailbox. It is called: "Games Fa-thers Play." Pinning: This is a game where the father will want to hold his son down. Son will call time after a few minutes, but father will persist. After a few more minutes, son will scream to be freed, or cry or beg, but father just smiles and berates the boy for being a sissy. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Boxing: This is a game of self-defense. A few punches, a push, a shove, a loud command to fight back "like a man." Son whimpers- WAKE li V AND SMELL THE CIIFFEE! feels inadequate, knows tEie odds are against him. So he cries. Father teases him for being a sissy. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Football: This is a game of skill and kill. Son must have killer in-stinct at 6 years of age. He must outshine all others and give 110 per-cent. Daddy gets very angry if son doesn't make the team or turn out to be a star. Score-Daddy 10, Son 0. Now, Daddy, after all your guidance and nurturing, son grows to manhood. He is the image ofyou-his instructor and role model. He is critical, abusive and insecure. The score is Daddy 0, Son 0. This is the story of my son and his father. I say to you dads every-where that one of the most precious games you can play with your son is "Gentleness," but in a manly way. A kiss, a hug, an approving glance and some kind words. He is sure to become a man among men if you play this game. Score-Daddy 10, Son 10. Sign me -The Scorekeeper

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