Dear Ann Landers,
esterday, I looked out of my kitchen window and could have sworn I saw an old cow across the way, munching grass between two houses. I was just about to shout to my husband and tell him a cow had wandered out of the pasture and to go put her back in. Thank heavens I was interrupted by a phone call. After a second look out the window, I discovered the "cow" was my mother-in-law wearing saddle pants. WAKE UP AND SMELL IDE COFFEE! 2 5 Three weeks ago, I was frightened by the sight of a tramp hanging around the machine shed. It was dusk, and I quickly locked all the doors. A few minutes later, I saw my husband walking toward the tramp. When they embraced, I nearly fainted. The "tramp" was his mother. To put it bluntly, Ann, the woman looks so down at the heels that it makes me sick. She also scares the daylights out of me. My mother-in-law is 74 years old, has plenty of money to spend and is in good health. What can I do about this revolting situation? -Fargo, N.D.

Dear Fargo,
Nothing. At her age, she is not likely to change. So grin and bear it, honey. I just hope your eyesight remains good. And thank heavens you aren't trigger-happy. Dear Ann: I am bursting at the seams to say a word to "Fargo, N.D.," the woman who was looking out the window and thought she saw a cow in the backyard. On another occasion, the "cow" looked like a tramp. Both times, it turned out to be her mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is 77, not the most beautiful or best-dressed woman in the world but certainly the finest. When our kids were sick or I was down with the flu, "the old cow" was right there, cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry. In every emergency, "the old tramp" has come through like the angel she is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. -Helen from K.C. Dear Helen: You said it, honey.