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Dear Ann Landers,
isexual women not only freak out their hus-bands, they freak out other women. I didn't know such females existed until a couple of years ago. Out of a clear blue sky, a woman I had known for years suddenly con-fessed that she was in love with me-and had been for a long time. I didn't know how to act. I was shocked and dumbfounded, totally un-prepared for such a confrontation. Apparently, I was too naive to get the signals she had been sending out. What's more, the whole thing seemed revolting. Needless to say, I terminated our friendship then and there. •I II I ANN LA Nil EllS I don't want a recurrence of this unpleasant episode, yet how do I avoid it? I am 35 and have never been married. I was shy as a teenager and didn't date much. I never learned how to attract men and probably never will. I am busy with my work and reasonably happy. While I would like a man, I won't die if one doesn't come along. How can I avoid future advances of this kind? Once in a lifetime is enough, thank you. -An Old Maid but Plenty Straight

Dear Straight,
You didn't invite that advance, and you may well get another. Your best protection is to be alert to women who buy you gifts for no reason, who suggest taking a trip together and who get onto the subject of lesbianism. Since kissing and hugging among straight women is so common-place in our culture, this is not much of a clue unless you feel it is ex-cessive. Then, of course, you cool it. The moment you suspect something is out of kilter, split. It serves no useful purpose to show disgust or revulsion and create an ugly incident.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers