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Dear Ann Landers,
here are all those advocates of premarital sex when it comes time to pick up the pieces after a "momentary mistake"? And what do the advocates do to help prevent such "mistakes"? Do they tell the kids that though a relationship may be "meaningful" to one partner, it may be purely self-satis-faction, an ego trip ot mere conde-scension on the part of the other? Do they tell the kids that a "mean-ingful relationship" may be so mean-ingful that one partner may have an overwhelming desire to cement that relationship with a child? Do they tell the kids they should never count on the other person to take precautions-and that to be per-fectly safe, both parties should count on themselves? Do they tell the kids that a girl's most intense desires are very likely to accompany her most fertile time? ("Just this once?") Do they tell the kids that a person's "love" might be severely dampened by resentment and turn to full-fledged hate should that person feel trapped? Do they tell the kids that alternative solutions to an unwanted pregnancy are vastly more difficult to handle than coping with the challenges of virginity? Do they tell the kids that the legality of abortion is insignificant compared to the emotional trauma? Do they tell the kids that giving up a child for adoption is no simple matter for anyone who has had a "meaningful relationship"? Do they tell the girls that keeping an out-of-wedlock baby goes far beyond the enjoyment of having a cute little bundle of joy to cuddle and take for a stroll in the perambulator? Where are those advocates of pre- martial sex when it's time to mend lives suffering from their advice? A SHOULDER TO CRY ON

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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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