Dear Ann Landers, ou recently printed a letter from parents whom you termed "enablers" because their young adult children still expect money from them. Ann, my husband's situation is exactly the same with his daughter. (She is his only child. I have no children.) "Linda" quit high school in her senior year and has moved from one mediocre salesclerk job to another. Her father stopped paying child support a year ago, but he still gives her money to live on. She calls him regularly every month crying about one financial emergency or another. My husband sends her $200 or $300 after every tearful call and swears each time that it is the last check he will mail. My husband saw the column where you said, "Tell such children the bank is closed." He vowed that his "bank" was going to close. I was thrilled. Then, two days ago, we received another well-rehearsed call from Linda, with the same old song and dance. Again, he sent a check. Ann, how can I convince my husband that he isn't helping Linda by caving in every month when her bills are due? He won't listen to me. He tells me I know nothing about children since I don't have any. We've been together for 12 years. We get along beautifully. I love him and want to stay with him forever. This is the only major conflict we have, but I am a nervous wreck every time the phone rings. Do you have any advice for me?
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , money in the bank and a wonderful fiance. You’d think I haven’t a worry in the world, but I’m a nervous wreck because I don’t know how to tell my fiance about my fetish. When I’m feeling really stressed or tired, I dress and act like a baby. I have adult-size diapers, rubber pants, baby pajamas, etc. I put these on, feed myself baby food from a jar and drink juice from a bottle. Then I fall asleep with a pacifier and a “blankie.” This soothes me because I imagine I’m being taken care of by a lov-ing father. I wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to take on my responsibilities. I’ve had this fetish since childhood. I was an only child, and my mother died when I was very young. My father raised me on his own. He worked long hours, so the only real chance we had to talk was at night. The first thing he did when he came home from work was dia-per me because I wet the bed. I stopped the bedwetting at age 12, and that was the end of a lot of attention from my father. I would occa-sionally wear a diaper under my pajamas, but after Dad caught me, he threw the diapers away and I no longer wore them. I am perfectly normal except for this kinkiness, but I know I can’t keep it from my fiance forever. I just can’t muster the courage to tell him, and I’m desperate for help. Please advise. -Twenty-three-year-old Baby in Ohio
