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Section: relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, "When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution." What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I've been married to this character for eighteen years, and it's the only approach that works. My husband's income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn't believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, "What for? You're home all day." The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he's in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?--The Professional Amateur

Dear Amateur,
If this has been going on for eighteen years, you aren't going to change it. A bouquet of skunk cabbage to your husband for reducing you to such a level.

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers