Dear Ann Landers, I have two sons. My older son, "Randall," is unmarried. Last year, he had to give up his apartment when his lease ran out, so for several months, he lived with his younger brother, "Eddie," and his wife, "Gussie." I accidentally overheard a conversation and learned that Randall and Gussie were having an affair.
I immediately told Eddie what was going on. He promptly confronted his wife and brother. They confessed everything.
Now, all three of them are angry with me. Eddie finally has started to speak to me again after months of silence, but Gussie still won't talk to me. That doesn't bother me much because I never liked her. Meanwhile, Randall hasn't said one word to me since the affair.
Was I wrong to tell Eddie about the affair? I couldn't bear to see my younger son being made a fool by his wife, and I didn't think it was right for Randall to be involved with her under any circumstances. It breaks my heart that my children are so upset with me. Is there any way to fix this? -- A Sorry Mom in Iowa
Dear Sorry Mom, While your moral stance was understandable, you created a great deal of animosity, and it will take time to repair the damage. You owe an apology to Randall, Eddie and Gussie (even though you don't like her). I suggest that you drop a note to each of them and ask for forgiveness. This should serve as a lesson to you. Vow to carry no more tales. Sometimes, they kill the messenger.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
HOOSIE's Comment
Why is all mad at the mother? Why should she say I'm sorry, how about the wife is the son still with her? Maybe they all need their heads checked immediately by a professional, if anyone thinks this is OK.
Reader Comment
I agree with Hoosie's comment above. Why should mom be the one writing apology letters to these offenders. Randall, Eddie
Reader Comment
I agree with "Hoosie's" and "Reader" comments. The trio should be left to stew in their own garbage that they created and chose to live in. Good riddance to all of them! JERKS!
Southern Bell's Comment
Same!!! I agree with everyone else. This advice was lousy to say the least. They're in the wrong.
Mom Sympathiser 's Comment
I don't think the Mom owes anyone an apology. Randall and Gussie are the offenders here. Eddie owes his Mom a thank you for helping him see the light. Give it more time Mom. You did the right thing even though it hurts right now. Your kids will come around. Be strong. God bless.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.
