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Dear Ann Landers,
��Martha" and I have been friends for years. She told me she was sorry she was unable to work with me on a church project because she was going to the hospital next week for "a little surgery." When I asked her what kind of surgery, she cut me dead with one word-"minor." I felt as if I had been slapped across the face. I thought about it all the next day and decided to telephone her physician in the hope that he would tell me it was nothing serious. Well, Ann, I've never been so hurt in my life. The doctor told me to mind my own business and that under no circumstances would he dis-cuss a patient's condition with a third party. I think he hung up on me. Why would a person be ashamed of having an operation? And why was the doctor so rude when I was merely inquiring about the welfare of a friend? -Chopped Down

Dear Chopped,
If Martha had wanted to give you any information about her surgery, she would have volunteered it. The doctor gave you good advice. Take it.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers