Dear Ann Landers, Please help me figure this out. I am seven months pregnant, and my husband still hasn't told his mother. She lives in another city. We already have one child, so it's not as if she doesn't know we are sleeping together.
My husband obviously doesn't have a close relationship with his mother, but this example of poor communication makes me uncomfortable. I wanted to tell her, but he said he wanted to do it himself. Meanwhile, he keeps putting it off. My mother-in-law phoned the other day, and I didn't know what to say when she asked, "How are you doing?"
Should I tell her I'm pregnant or just wait until the baby is born? I'm pretty sure my husband won't have any trouble telling her then. -- Infanticipating in Berkeley, Calif.
Dear Berkeley, Tell her yourself, and the sooner the better. Apparently, your husband has some kind of hang-up about his mother. So, my dear, out with it.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Mary C's Comment
Agree, tell her. But tell your husband you are telling her. Honesty is essential at this moment. The mother-in-law will likely forgive her son for this "oversight", but she may not forgive her daughter-in-law! Use this opportunity to strengthen your bond with your m-i-l. She will be your child's grand mother, after all.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , I have watched her children from a previous marriage grow to adulthood. I have been present at the births of 10 grandchildren. Here’s my problem. I love my wife’s children dearly, and I tell them so frequently. However, I have yet to witness any show of affection from any of them. Instead, I get subtle reminders that I am not, after all, their real father. It has reached the point where I wish no further contact. My heart has been broken too many times. My wife says I am being silly. What do you think? -Stepped-on Dad in Calif.
