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Section: mental-health, children, health-and-wellness, relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband and I divorced last summer. We have a 9-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter. I bought a house a few miles from my ex-husband, and the children and I have been living there for the last five months. My daughter slept with me for the first month we were in our new house, until I could afford to buy her a bed. I admit it was nice, and I didn't mind. I like having my children close. The problem is, it has been five months, and she still wants to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but I am afraid it could be damaging to her in some way. I could use some advice, Ann. -- Suzi in Houston

Dear Suzi,
It is not a good idea for young children to become accustomed to sleeping with an adult parent. Put the child back in her own room, and help her go to sleep there. Divorced parents should not use a child as a spouse substitute.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Co Sleeping Momma to Great Kids's Comment
Please show me some evidence as to why a child sleeping in their parents bed is damaging? All of my children slept in my bed when they were younger. Co sleeping is a very common thing, in many house holds. My youngest daughter is 4 and sleeps with me every night. I have two older children that are 16 and 11, that now very comfortably sleep in their own beds and are very independent, thriving children. This woman's daughter will not be 30 yrs old still sleeping in her mothers bed. Do not give uneducated advice. The little girl will be just fine.

CynM in FW's Comment
Suzi in Houston - There isn't anything wrong with letting your child sleep with you. My 27 yr old daughter slept with me when she was a toddler and it has never been a problem. She may want to sleep with you because it makes her feel secure. If you don't want to let her sleep with you, perhaps try to sleep in her bed with her until she falls asleep.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset."
-Ann Landers