Dear Ann Landers, My husband and I divorced last summer. We have a 9-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter. I bought a house a few miles from my ex-husband, and the children and I have been living there for the last five months.
My daughter slept with me for the first month we were in our new house, until I could afford to buy her a bed. I admit it was nice, and I didn't mind. I like having my children close. The problem is, it has been five months, and she still wants to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but I am afraid it could be damaging to her in some way. I could use some advice, Ann. -- Suzi in Houston
Dear Suzi, It is not a good idea for young children to become accustomed to sleeping with an adult parent. Put the child back in her own room, and help her go to sleep there. Divorced parents should not use a child as a spouse substitute.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Co Sleeping Momma to Great Kids's Comment
Please show me some evidence as to why a child sleeping in their parents bed is damaging? All of my children slept in my bed when they were younger. Co sleeping is a very common thing, in many house holds. My youngest daughter is 4 and sleeps with me every night. I have two older children that are 16 and 11, that now very comfortably sleep in their own beds and are very independent, thriving children. This woman's daughter will not be 30 yrs old still sleeping in her mothers bed. Do not give uneducated advice. The little girl will be just fine.
CynM in FW's Comment
Suzi in Houston -
There isn't anything wrong with letting your child sleep with you. My 27 yr old daughter slept with me when she was a toddler and it has never been a problem. She may want to sleep with you because it makes her feel secure. If you don't want to let her sleep with you, perhaps try to sleep in her bed with her until she falls asleep.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , people have asked me if I’m of mixed race. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CUFEEE! I 4 7 At the age of 35, I’m ready to find the answer to that question. My parents separated immediately after I was born. My father in-sists that when he was away on a Navy assignment, my mother had an affair. I am deeply hurt that he does not believe I am his biological daughter. I approached my mother about this several months ago because I have many physical characteristics that are clearly biracial. She became very angry and cursed me for raising such an “insulting” question. Since that time, our relationship has been very tense. I’m afraid if I bring up the subject again, she may stop talking to me permanently. I want to end this estrangement, Ann, but I also want to know the truth. Am I blowing this out of proportion? What can I do? -No Name, No City
