AnnLanders.com - Dear Ann Landers: I recently gave a dinner party.
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Section: manners, money
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I recently gave a dinner party. I prefer to serve my guests myself and tried to be emphatic about it, but one guest insisted on "helping" me. I know "Lola" was only trying to be useful, but she was getting in my way. I asked her nicely several times to sit down and stay out of the kitchen, but she followed me around and insisted on giving me a hand. To get her off my back, I asked her to take a creamer into the dining room and place it on the table. Well, she dropped it on the tile floor, shattering the handle and spilling the cream all over the place. Lola then had the nerve to say that good china like mine is really just for show, and I should not have been using it. My great-grandmother's creamer is, of course, irreplaceable, but I am going to get another china handle crafted onto it. Should I send Lola the bill? -- Slow Burn in Pasadena, Calif.

Dear Slow Burn,
Stick your toe in the water for testing. Tell Lola you've found a place that will mend the creamer, and ask whether she would like the bill. My guess is she will be happy to pay it. It will ease her conscience and cool your anger.

What do you think? (or ask a question?)

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Cliff's Comment
Sound advice.
 
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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers