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Section: relationships, health-and-wellness

Dear Ann Landers,
I have been married for three years, and it is obvious that my mother does not like my wife. I can deal with that, but I'm becoming increasingly upset by the way Mom behaves around "Amelia." Two weeks ago, there was a milestone family affair, and we hired a professional photographer to take pictures. As we were preparing to pose for the photo shoot, my mother informed Amelia that she could not be in the pictures because she was not a blood relative and therefore not a family member. My wife stepped out, but I could see she was very hurt. There have been other instances, as well. One evening when several of us went to the theater together, Mom happened to end up sitting next to Amelia. She abruptly stood up, moved to the other side of the row and announced, "I want to sit next to my son." I have asked my mother to please stop treating Amelia so shabbily, but she insists she has nothing against my wife and accuses me of being overly sensitive. I hope you can help me. -- Not Mama's Boy in Missouri

Dear Missouri,
Your signature does not match your letter. You certainly sound like a mama's boy to me, and a gutless one at that. Why did you not speak up on your wife's behalf when your mother decided Amelia couldn't be in the family pictures because she wasn't a blood relative? And when your mother demanded to sit next to you in the theater, why didn't you arrange the seating so your wife could be on the other side? As long as you permit your mother to abuse Amelia, she is going to do it. It's high time you asserted yourself, sonny boy. Check out the Bible, where it says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh." Copy that directive on a piece of paper, and tape it to your bathroom mirror.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
Right on! But 3 year and the wife hasn’t given the mamas boy

Reader Comment
He should also give a copy of the Bible passage to his mother. He may not completely be a "momma's boy" but he gives in to the old battle axe too often. It will only get worse if he doesn't wake up now or find himself living with 'momma' again because his wife will finally wake up and dump the two of them which I wouldn't blame her!

Andy's Comment
After three years of this abuse, which her husband laments but does nothing about, I think that his wife should have kept the bridal bouquet and thrown him away. If this gutless wonder won't do anything about his mother, and after three years of marriage I doubt that he ever will, his wife ought to see about getting a lawyer and getting out of this marriage because her mother-in-law will only get worse with age.

Kris's Comment
Yeah this is pretty bad. I would do a kaboom with this man. He should confront his mother and stick up for his wife.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat."
-Ann Landers