, Advice by Ann Landers - []
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Section: sexuality, work

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a male escort while I am working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am paid well. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied. Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me. Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.

Dear Mr. X,
No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
Why must they all go out with someone their son’s age? Because, Letter Writer, as you well know, they all want more than a dinner companion. But if going places for pay knowing you’ll never have to “deliver” stokes your vanity, knock yourself out. Just don’t try to play us for fools.

Joy's Comment
I am that old lady! My husband passed away just before COVID started. For over 40 years I had a partner I adored. We simply sang and danced our way through life. It is extremely difficult to attend formal affairs without him. I certainly don't want remarriage. I for one wish to thank Mr. X for his services. He'd be my perfect match.

Deb's Comment
What's the harm here? Absolutely nothing. There are many reasons that someone would simply want/need companionship. If the women do not mind paying and it helps the young man out, it's great for both parties. There is no need to share your sexual preference, as it is not a part of the gig.
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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers