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Dear Ann Landers,
less you for having the courage to suggest self-gratification to the 48-year-old woman whose husband hasn't touched her in two years. I am nearly 80 now, and my youth flashed be-fore my eyes when you said you didn't want to hear from any clergy saying it's a sin. When I was 13, our preacher gave me a book to read. It said boys who masturbate would become bald, diseased and insane, lead a life of crime and end up in hell. When my sexual urges became overpower-ing, I did indeed indulge in what they called in those days "self-abuse" and suffered tremendous anxiety and wretched feelings of guilt. Every morning, I woke up wondering if I had gone insane during the night or developed some outward sign that would let the world know of my "unpardonable sin." That terrifying misinformation carried over to my adult life, and it took a long time before I could be a loving husband. Now that I am older and wiser, I see what horrendous damage was done to the youth of our day by hypocritical clergy who surely must have experienced the same urges in their younger days. Hurray to you for having the courage to say it in print and remove the burden of guilt suffered by millions of healthy, normal people, both young and old. -Raleigh, N.C.

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Dear Readers,
, you printed a story from 'Bob on the Internet' about the husband who finds out by looking in the marital collection box that his wife has been passing out favors to big spenders during the 50 years they have been married. These two stories are intimately related, and I didn't think either one was very funny. I'm 60 and have been married to the same woman for more than 40 years. Our two children are in their 30s now. Both are 'mine,' but one is and one isn't, if you get my drift. I love them both equally, but like 'Spokane's' father, I have been deeply hurt. The snake who fathered the second child was supposed to be a good friend of mine. I had no idea of the betrayal until the child matured, and then, her resemblance to the real father was unmistakable. The matter is not discussed, even though I'm sure many people know the truth. What hurts is that no one has ever confessed or apologized. I have been completely faithful to this woman my entire life, even though I knew she dallied with others in addition to the snake many years ago. Things are OK between us, but someday, I hope she'll say she's sorry. -- Betrayed in Texas

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers