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Dear Ann Landers,
his letter is from the Other Man. I am ad-dressing my remarks to the husband of the woman I love. The rela-tionship I enjoy with your wife is the most precious thing in my life. She is a gem. But somehow you never noticed. How long did you think you could ignore her before she felt an emptiness in her life and a need to do something about it? You claim to be a "family man," but everything else comes first- business is at the top of your list. How you love to travel to meetings and conferences. Then there's golf and hunting with the boys. (Good for business.) She is the one who cooks dinners for your relatives and chauffeurs the kids to all their activities, takes them to the emergency room in the middle of the night and listens to them when they have problems. You are never around during a crisis. Your timing is perfect. The real trouble started when you couldn't find time to listen when she wanted to tell you how unhappy she was. It was then that she came to me-a nervous wreck with nobody to talk to. Our friendship began because I listened. Within six months, we were in love. I would marry her in a minute, but she says she just couldn't do that to her family. It would be too disruptive, too painful to too many people. So, we keep stealing golden moments, and I am grateful for every one. I showed her this letter, and she said, "Mail it if you want to. He'll never recognize himself. He thinks he's perfect." So, here it is. Mean-while, I hope you never wake up, you idiot. -Half a Loaf in Greenwich

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, 'Lottie,' might be a lesbian because she slept in the nude when they shared a bed. You told her to continue the friendship but not to accept any more invitations to sleep over. Your response left me with a sinking feeling. When friends are uneasy about something like this, it is not OK to ignore it. Also, a friendship that is not based on trust can be hollow at best. As a woman who works with lesbian and gay young people, I find it highly unlikely that Lottie is a lesbian. If such were the case, she would not have risked a negative reaction from her friend. Rejection from those they care about is one of the principal concerns of gay youth. All teenagers, gay and straight, should be encouraged to be honest with their peers and not engage in deception. If the writer has worries and does not deal with them directly, the friendship will suffer. Please let her know that being gay is not the issue. The real issue is empowering young people to be forthright and vocal with each other about situations that make them uncomfortable. Staying silent accomplishes nothing and leaves them frustrated and confused. -- C.M. in the Southwest

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers