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Dear Ann Landers,
n a recent column, you told "Carl from Akron" that you would never charge a child of your interest on a loan. Pray tell, why not? Most parents feel that charging their children a modest rate of in-terest on a loan is a generous favor, which indeed it is. Your statement encourages kids to get as much as they can for nothing. You also neglected to take into account that giving an interest-free loan deprives children of the opportunity to tap into their own inge-nuity and learn how to take care of themselves. And, I might add, a modest charge for interest discourages frivolous requests and encour-ages self-reliance and better family relationships. -Been There in Falls Church, Va.

Dear Va.,
I received a heavy response to this subject, which I've cov-ered before. Almost nobody supported me. Read on for additional clobbering: From Newark, N.J.: Time and again you've made the point, "What people get for nothing is rarely appreciated." How come you have abandoned that philosophy? I'm surprised and disappointed. I 4 ft ANN LAN I) HIS Seattle: Borrowing from a parent saves the cost of loan fees, credit checks and appraisal fees. Why should we expect our parents to forgo interest on their hard-earned money so we can save a few more bucks? Enid, Okla.: I don't know about Carl, but my mother has her extra money invested in certificates of deposit and collects interest. If she withdraws from those CDs early, there's a penalty. Most people don't have a lot of extra cash sitting around. Hamilton, Ontario: Every time my husband and I borrowed money from his family, we paid an interest rate 1 percent lower than the bank would charge and 1 percent higher than they could have gotten from a bank certificate of deposit. All his siblings had the same deal. In my family, it was a different story. My parents gave a sizable interest-free loan to my sister to buy a house. When my brother and I asked for the same deal, we were refused. This caused a lot of animosity in the fam-ily and some bitterness toward our sister. Munich, Germany: If Carl's kids can afford to buy a bigger home, they should be able to pay their father the going rate of interest on the loan. Wake up, Ann! Schenectady, N.Y.: When we borrowed money to buy a home, we paid my mother-in-law interest. We learned later that her other chil-dren had also borrowed but did not pay interest. When I asked my mother-in-law about this, she said, "You offered. They didn't." We felt ripped off, and things haven't been the same since. Erie, Pa.: We spoiled our kids, and now they are spoiling their kids worse. An interest-free loan was the beginning. San Bernardino, Calif.: Interest-free loans give kids a false idea of what life is about. There are 10 "children" over 25 years old on our block who are still living at home. Too much "help" can be crippling. Hollywood: We charged our 14-year-old son interest on his first loan of $150. He wanted to buy a motor for his go-cart. He signed a contract and made a payment every Saturday. Years later, he worked 40 hours a week while attending college and law school and is now a suc-cessful attorney. He thanked us for the way we raised him and said, "I'm going to raise my kids the same way." What a reward!



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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-Ann Landers