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Dear Ann Landers,
e've been married twenty years and have two children ten and eight years of age. I've worked like a horse for the last fifteen years and I'm tired. We own a small cafe which I run myself. My husband has a little business on the other side of town which requires his attention three days a week. I do all my own cooking, housework, washing and ironing, and the yard work. I put in a good fifteen-hour day. When I mention quitting work my husband's blood pressure zooms, and he yells, "Fine idea-why don't we both quit and starve to death?" He likes the cafe business because it gives him a chance to sit around and chin with the customers. He fancies himself a poor man's Toots Shor. Is it a crime to want to stay home and take care of my children? How do I get out of this rut?-Disgusted

Dear Disgusted,
From your description of the ball o' fire you're married to, you just might starve if you quit running the cafe. So here's a suggestion which is practical and fair: Split the cafe work with the genial host. Make it clear you are taking off two full days a week. On the days he sits around "chinning with the customers" tell him to take over for a few hours while you go home. Then go.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers