Dear Ann Landers,
y husband thinks nothing of spending $200 on fishing equipment or $175 on a camera, but he will slit a tube of toothpaste down the middle with a razor blade to make sure he gets every last ounce of toothpaste. This man is a busy executive. When I see him spending time in the morning 140 performing this penny-ante trick, it irritates me. Can you explain this?-Mrs. Skinflint

Dear Mrs. Flint,
Your husband happens to be tight about toothpaste. President Johnson used to go around the White House turning out lights. We all have our secret little miser stunts. Even you, I'll bet. 141 TEN YOU CAN'T TELL A KID BY HIS AGE My daily mail presents irrefutable evidence that an astonish-ing number of financial and professional giants are in many respects emotional midgets. Merely because a man has re-placed his thumb with a cigar is not proof that he is grown up. And the woman who teaches philosophy at Stanford may be so emotionally chained to her mother that hubby is about to give her the heave-ho-Ph.D. and all. Maturity, according to the World Book Dictionary, is "to be fully developed in body and mind-the condition of having achieved complete excellence." Do you know an individual who fits this description? I do not. Such a person does not exist. No mind can be fully developed. Moreover, complete excellence, like total happiness and perfect beauty, are fig-ments of the imagination or, at best, in the eye of the be-holder. Each of us possesses large (or small) pockets of immatu-rity. Witness the brilliant attorney who cannot free himself from a domineering mother, the middle-aged wife who still wants to be Daddy's girl, the teen-ager, first in his class at Princeton who drives 110 miles an hour when his girl dumps him for a Rutgers man, the compulsive eater to whom food is 142 a substitute for love, the eternal Don Juan who jumps from bed to bed to reassure himself of his masculinity. Frequently when I am asked how to deal with an immature sweetheart, teen, husband, or wife, I say, "Tell him to grow up!" Good advice, but not practical. One does not grow up merely because he is told to do so. Emotional growth, like physical growth, occurs one day at a time. Maturity, then, is the ability to handle frustration, control anger, and settle differences without violence or destruction. Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to postpone grati-fication, to pass up the immediate pleasure or profit in favor of the long-term gain. Maturity is perseverance, sweating out a project or a situa-tion in spite of opposition and discouraging setbacks. Maturity is unselfishness, responding to the needs of others. Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and disap-pointment without becoming bitter. Maturity is the gift of remaining calm in the face of chaos. This means peace, not only for ourselves, but for those with whom we live and for those whose lives touch ours. Maturity is the ability to disagree without being dis-agreeable. Maturity is humility. A mature person is able to say, "I was wrong." He is also able to say, "I am sorry." And when he is proven right, he does not have to say, "I told you so." Maturity is the ability to make a decision, to act on that decision, and to accept full responsibility for the outcome. Maturity means dependability, integrity, keeping one's word. The immature have excuses for everything. They are the chronically tardy, the no-shows, the gutless wonders who fold in the crises. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, unfinished business, and former friends. Maturity is the ability to live in peace with that which we cannot change. 143 Do you recognize anyone you know in the letters that follow?