Dear Ann Landers,
hain letters are driving me out of my mind. Years ago it was a sweet little good-luck poem from a friend. Now it has become a pain in the ankle. In the past two weeks I have received five chain letters-all from strangers. Yesterday I received a chain letter instructing me to make eight copies and send each along with a pint of bourbon to the last person on the list. This morning I received a chain letter instructing me to send five dollars to the last name on the list and get five copies out within twenty-four hours or I would 139 have some very bad luck. I confess I was afraid not to follow the instructions because I am a superstitious person, so I sent the bourbon and the money and the copies as requested. Now I am mad at myself for being a sucker. Please tell me if you have ever heard of anyone who made anything off of these crazy chain letters.-Chicken

Dear Chick,
Chain letters involving anything of value are illegal. They are also stupid. No, I have never heard of anyone who profited from a chain letter other than the people who got your five dollars and your bourbon.