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Dear Ann Landers,
"I'm so sorry. I'm only 14 years old." Ann, I want that young girl to know that I'm sorry, too. Her baby was another missed opportunity for my husband and me and others ANN LANDERS like us. Why don't these girls realize that it costs a birth mother nothing to place her child with an adoption agency? If she tells her minister or school counselor that she can't keep her child, she can be assured of help in finding it a loving home. Three years ago, my husband and I decided to have a family. We as-sumed that we would have no trouble. We were wrong. We tried for ten months and then went to a fertility specialist. We worked with her for another nine months without success and were then referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. My husband has tested "normal" since the beginning. I have been poked, prodded, pushed and probed, have had injections and laser treatment, and was finally told I had endometriosis and polyceptic ovarian disease. Now we've been informed that my insurance will no longer cover infertility treatment, diagnosis or drugs. The next step is a drug that will cost $8,000, with only a 45 percent chance of success. To the 14-year-old girl who wrapped her child in the duffel bag: Someone will want and need your newborn. To the others who might do something like this: Please don't jeopardize the health of your baby by not placing it in the hands of people who will help you and know how to contact couples like us. I'm sorry about the circumstances which led that girl to give up her child and equally sorry that I can't have that baby.

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, “Those who com-mit suicide are full of hate (often self-directed) , and they want to put an end to their lives in order to punish some-one for a real (or imagined) injustice. (‘You’ll be sorry for the way you treated me.’)” That writer was vio-lently one-sided in his appraisal. I have contemplated suicide many times. I’m in my 50’s now, and I hate nobody. Nor would I kill myself to make someone sorry they treated me badly. In fact, I can’t think of anyone who has. My family and friends al-ways have been patient and consid-erate. I’ve had a great deal of counseling over a period of years, but it hasn’t helped. I guess I’m just tired of swim- THE ANN LANDERS ENCYCLOPEDIA 1049 ming against the tide. I’m exhausted and depressed because I can’t seem to make anything work. I seem to be fighting a losing battle on every front. Life is joyless. I’m not being fair to my family because I’m a drag-a pessi-mist, a kill-joy. I believe the world would be better off without me. I con-tribute nothing. So please, Ann, print this letter in case I do it one day. I’d hate to have those near and dear to me think I took my life to punish them. They don’t de-serve to carry such guilt. A LONG-TIME READER.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers