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Section: relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
Three years ago I wrote to you about my husband and another woman. When I learned of the affair, I was crushed. He swore the affair meant nothing and said if I forgave him he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Your advice was, "Forgive and forget. Trust him. He won't fail you." Well, I took your advice, and three months ago it happened again--this time in my own home with my dearest friend. I saw it coming but decided if he was one of those men who had to cheat I'd rather he cheat with someone I know and like. Here is the problem: My husband has been so ashamed since I caught them that he can't hold up his head in this woman's presence. He doesn't want her in our house ever again. Frankly, I like this woman very much. She is wonderful company and I hate to give up her friendship.--M.L Wrong

Dear M.L,
The situation reminds me of that old joke: "My husband ran off with my best friend. What shall I do? I miss her." If you must continue the friendship, do so in the after-noon--at her house.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
How many screws loose does this woman have? She can't let go of her 'friend'? That woman is NOT your friend, you idiot. Get rid of both cheaters as this will never stop. She must be co-dependent on these jerks!

Reader Comment
A Tiger NEVER changes it's stripes. People like that will continue. Agreed also that your supposed friend that was cheating with your spouse is a LOUSE also. Get rid of both of them.

Reader Comment
"Ric Clayton" should post his stupid "Dr Emu" casting on his own Facebook page, not here in an advice column. You are an idiot for believing in this garbage which is the same as the idiots who post that other phony, "Dr. Odunga". So many screws loose, so many itiots!

paul harvey's Comment
My wife started hanging with another guy about six months ago....i was totally in the dark for six months..she is 72 and we have been married 38 years...the guy is 53 and was divorced twice.... First she goes to his home to pick up things for a class... then she picks him up and drops him off at the train station...he has no car..all kinds of red flags..they play pool at the local club and he beats her over and over...she buys tickets for them to go to a new year party..i caught her in a little lie.. Their new year date was cancelled ...i was really pissed..ready to leave for good

Maryann's Comment
You would rather have your husband "cheat with someone you know and like????" And you still want to have a friendship with this woman who betrayed you in the most terrible way??? I suggest you ditch them both and look for a true companion and a true friend. Some therapy might also be in order to help you figure out why you have so little self-respect.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers