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Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Three years ago I wrote to you about my husband and another woman. When I learned of the affair, I was crushed. He swore the affair meant nothing and said if I forgave him he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Your advice was, "Forgive and forget. Trust him. He won't fail you." Well, I took your advice, and three months ago it happened again--this time in my own home with my dearest friend. I saw it coming but decided if he was one of those men who had to cheat I'd rather he cheat with someone I know and like. Here is the problem: My husband has been so ashamed since I caught them that he can't hold up his head in this woman's presence. He doesn't want her in our house ever again. Frankly, I like this woman very much. She is wonderful company and I hate to give up her friendship.--M.L Wrong

Dear M.L,
The situation reminds me of that old joke: "My husband ran off with my best friend. What shall I do? I miss her." If you must continue the friendship, do so in the after-noon--at her house.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
How many screws loose does this woman have? She can't let go of her 'friend'? That woman is NOT your friend, you idiot. Get rid of both cheaters as this will never stop. She must be co-dependent on these jerks!
 
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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers