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Dear Ann Landers,
Having read your column for the past 40 years, I feel as if I know you as a friend. I am sending an item that appeared in the California Retired Teachers Association newsletter. The author is unknown. I hope you will think it's funny enough to share. -- David H., La Crescenta, Calif.

Dear David,
I do, and I shall. Thank you. Here it is: "Why Worry?" There are only two things to worry about -- Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about -- Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. If you go to hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with old friends, You won't have time to worry.

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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers