Dear Ann Landers,
realize you are Jewish. Armed with this knowledge and my familiarity with the culture from whence you emerge, it all figures. I take strong exception to the col-umn about canker sores on the lips of girls (I assume) who were engaging in oral sex. You stated that this type of VD is on the increase and warned your readers to "be aware." That col-umn would have been better had it never seen the light of day. What's more, I believe you could enhance your reputation (maybe it's too late now) and increase your readership if you devoted your efforts toward uplift-ing the nature of man rather than publicizing his frailties. This is an age of deterioration. Why should you contribute to the erosion just because you have a job on a news-paper? Why not use your power to up-lift rather than pull people down? Our goal in life is to assist in the develop-ment of society. That's why those who don't do their bit, no matter how little, always get it in the neck sooner or later. A REAL AMERICAN

DEAR READER,
You call yourself "A Real American"? Not in my book. Your opening sentences disqualify you. It's perfectly OK to tell me my advice is lousy, but to say, "it figures"-be-cause I'm Jewish-reflects some pretty warped logic. I view this column as an opportunity to educate, and I tell it like it is. To suggest that I am contributing to the deterioration of this country when I warn people about a relatively new dis-ease that few people know anything about is sheer lunacy. You say, "Our goal in life is to help assist in the de-velopment of society." I know what I've been doing for the last 20 years. What have YOU been doing-besides dishing out ethnic slurs? Oral-genital sex, which is the stimulation of the partner's genitals by using the mouth and tongue, was once considered extremely "far out," but attitudes are changing. The person who felt ashamed to admit his wish for oral-genital sex, even to his wife or girlfriend, much less to acknowledge the practice to others, has learned it is commonly practiced. Prostitutes were often solicited because the man was ashamed to ask his wife to perform the act. Oral stimulation of the man's genitals is called fellatio, and that of the woman's is called cunnilingus. Kinsey (1948) many years ago found that 60 percent of the better-educated population acknowledged oral sex, while some recent sampling and surveys indicate that oral-genital sex is even more widely practiced. In one under-thirty-five age group, 91 percent considered oral- genital activity as a regular part of normal sex. This is true whether oral-genital stimulation is used as foreplay, a prelude to genital intercourse, or as an occasional or even habitual act leading to full gratification. There is no rule that every sex act must end in intercourse. Many couples enjoy such activity as an occasional variation. At any rate, many find oral-genital stimulation pleasurable and effective, both as foreplay and as a primary means to orgasm. Nonetheless, many people suffer conflicted feelings about oral-genital sex. They think it is "taboo," "dirty," "perverse," "abnormal," "dangerous," etc. From the psychiatric point of view, no sexual behavior acceptable to both partners need be considered abnormal. The "perverse" label springs from two factors: (1) Many have been brought up to consider sexual behavior for anything but procreation and re-production as sinful and wrong, and non-genital contacts, they figure, must be queer beyond belief. (2) Oral-genital activity is often the preferred act of homosexuals. Similarly, the feeling of "taboo" comes from our traditions which extolled the non-responsive woman, the missionary position and the sexual hang-ups of childhood in which examining, touching and exploring genitals, one's own or another's, was considered "naughty," prohibited and a cause for punish-ment. The "dirty" idea also has a dual origin. First, some of us were reared to be-lieve the genital area forbidden, off limits and "dirty." Then there are the anatomical-physical aspects. The urethra and anus are in close proximity to the female genitals, and of course the penis is also used in urination. How-ever, with normal hygiene, the genitals are as clean and appetizing as any part of the body, without the assistance of cosmetics, deodorants or special hygienic products. (In fact, some vaginal douches, and the practice of repeated douching, can be quite harmful). Actually, the mouth is a dirtier organ than the genitals. The mouth is swarming with a variety of bacteria- as any TV mouthwash ad will assure you. But we develop strange, unreal biases and aversions. The same lover who will passionately devour the lips and explore with his tongue the interior of his beloved's mouth and have her do the same to him may recoil in horror at the idea of using her toothbrush! It may be mentioned that the lips, tongue and mouth are highly erotic or erogenous zones, and that their use on any part of the body-face, mouth, neck, nipples, genitals or toes, etc.-can be very pleasurable. Some wonder if oral-genital sex is "dangerous," that is, it will take prece-dence over penis-in-vagina activity. Afraid of finding oral-genital sex highly pleasurable, they fear that they will get carried away into a sea of uncon-trollable, abnormal, sensuous pleasure. As we said before, any way can be the right way. Each couple must decide what is best and most pleasurable. The method best suited for a particular occasion may be adopted, with each striving to bring about maximum gratification to the other. Open com-munication, discussion and experimentation will let each couple know what brings the greatest erotic pleasure. As to other kinds of danger, there is none to healthy genitals, but infec-tions can be transmitted-such things as herpes, a kind of fever blister some-times found on the lip, or the usual venereal diseases. We have dealt with most of the myths surrounding oral sex, but one that persists is that it is degrading and debasing. In themselves, none of the oral- genital activities should be considered as such. If it is in the mind of one partner (his fantasy) to force upon the other an act of submission and degra-dation, that attitude will color this and any other sex activity or behavior. People who feel this way have mixed their concepts of sexual pleasure (and general relationships) with themes of submission and power, or, if you will (to get fancier), sadism and masochism. Couples who are tender and loving with each other will find genital kissing one more expression of their mutual pleasure-giving. Couples who are loving and supportive don't hurt or humiliate one another, nor are they prey to guilt and shame instilled by some of our cultures. They utilize without fear or doubt all parts of their bodies. There are no concerns about being deviant or disrespectful, immodest or "wicked." Instead they readily communicate wishes and desires in this intense manner. Mutuality of desire, or at least a willingness by both parties, should be of prime consideration. In some instances only one party wants it-almost al-ways the male-and the other party doesn't want it or expresses a frank revulsion to it. If the party who doesn't enjoy it (but can tolerate it) will go along, it will surely help the total sexual relationship. If one party simply loathes it, there should be no excessive pressure exerted. Any individual who wants oral sex for himself or herself and is not willing to reciprocate is selfish, emotionally unhealthy and exploitive. credit: Jerome B. Katz, M.D., Menninger Foundation, Topeka, Kansas. Sexual Fantasies IF HE'S IN YOUR ARMS BUT NOT YOUR MIND, HUSH