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Dear Ann Landers,
burned when I read your brutal statement to "Dis-turbed Mom." You said, "No mother loves all her children equally." It is ob-vious that you are not a mother. I am. I have four children and I KNOW I don't love one child more than another. The mother who has a favorite or actually dislikes one of her brood must be mentally ill. Every normal mother loves her children the same, for they are all her flesh and bone. If you wish to print this letter and state why you made such a barbaric at-tack on motherhood I would be interested in your explanation. And so would thousands of others who must feel as I do. love them all

dear love them all,
I don't think it's possible to feel exactly the same about any two humans, be they children, brothers or business associates. Love is an emotion. It cannot be weighed or measured for intensity. We grow wiser, more patient (or less patient) depending on what happens in our lives. No woman is the same all through her childbearing years. The changes in her disposition, degree of stability and the knowledge she gains through experience all have an effect on her children. An unwanted child, who senses a mother's hostility, is bound to react un-favorably. Children who do not receive ample love and attention often get into trouble and cause their parents grief. A mother who insists she loves a sullen, rebellious, antisocial child as much as the happy, well-integrated one is lying to herself to cover her guilt. No one should feel guilty about his true feelings. Being able to recognize and face reality is a sign of good mental health. Very often I hear from teenagers who say, "My mother is partial to my brother"-or "My sister gets all the attention. Mom likes her better." Chil-dren recognize this even if parents don't. Invariably it is the mother of such a child who insists at the top of her mistaken voice that she loves them "all the same." Motherhood Why I've Always Loved You Best



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers