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Dear Ann Landers,
haven't spoken to my brother's wife in seven years. It would take the whole news-paper to tell you the entire story, so I'll just say she did me unbelievable dirt and I have never been able to forgive her. My daughter is getting married in a few months and I want the wedding to be a happy occasion. I know my mother will be sad if my brother and his wife are not present. (He refuses to come without her even though he knows she was in the wrong and has told me so.) My other two sisters say she (the one who did me the dirt) should apol-ogize and then I should invite her. But the girl is as stubborn as a Missouri mule. I'm sure she'd die first. What should I do? OPEN FOR SUGGES-TIONS

DEAR OPEN,
Don't let the Missouri mule spoil a beautiful day. Go to her and say, "Let's forget the past. I want you to attend my daughter's wedding and make it a happy day for everyone -especially Mother." It takes a big person to make the first move and mend a rift when he (or she) has been wronged. But I can tell you for sure, it's the thing to do. Freckles Freckles are the flat, irregularly shaped light to medium brown spots found on the skin of many fair-skinned people, especially redheads and blondes. They generally appear in early childhood after the earliest significant sun ex-posure, and tend to fade in late adult life. Freckles usually fade and sometimes disappear during the winter months when there is no exposure to sun or other sources of ultraviolet light. Follow-ing exposure to sun or ultraviolet light, the brown color of freckles deepens, often within a few hours. The fluorescent lights used to illuminate offices and homes may also cause freckles to become more prominent. Freckling is apparently an inherited tendency, but not all fair-skinned indi-viduals will develop freckles. Freckles are different from moles and liver spots, which are growths or tumors of the skin. Freckles are simply the result of the increased formation of brown melanin pigment in small skin areas. Although freckles can be removed by surgical dermabrasion (sandpapering the skin while under anesthetic) and by chemical peeling, they often recur. These methods of treatment are performed by dermatologists and some plas-tic surgeons. Prevention of freckling can be accomplished by avoiding the sun and ultraviolet light and by using protective sun-screening preparations. Ap-propriate makeup can help hide freckles very effectively. credit: Harry J. Hurley, M.D., Professor of Clinical Dermatology, School of Medicine, University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Freeloading dear ann: I'm ashamed to discuss this problem with anyone I know. It's my husband. He is a chronic check-dodger and I don't know what to do about it. When we go out for dinner or an after-the-movie snack with other couples, he manages never to pick up the check. He is a master at being "out- fumbled." What is even worse, I've seen him leave for the men's room when he spots the waiter approaching with the check. We aren't hard up for money. There is no excuse for his freeloading. I'm sure our friends think we are terribly cheap. Please come up with a solution. I am m. barrassed dear m.b.: Since your husband seems to have trouble finding his pockets, I suggest you step in and give him some help. Next time the situation arises say in a loud voice, "It's our turn, dear." Then take the check from the waiter and hand it to him. If he happens to be in the men's room when the check arrives, you should take the check and present it to your husband when he returns. I frequently hear from readers who complain about being taken advantage of by people at work. The following letter hits my desk, in one form or an-other, at least once a week:



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers